Cross of Boundries
by Lizzzzzzzza
Summary: Ancient evil forces are awakening at Hogwarts.For some strange reason, all they want is Lily Evans,they won't rest until shes gone.Can James Potter, another typical 15 year old wizard,reach across powerful boundries to save her life and win her heart?
1. Chapter 1

Ok so beginning of a story, it's a little bit sketchy sorry, but I hope you like it! I just want to take a second to thank SecretlyAGriffyndor for all the help and inspiration she gave me!

Lily Evans tapped her pencil impatiently on the desk in front of her, working out the constant stress in her brain. She hated times like this. She didn't know what caused them, weather or not they we're natural, expected, harmless. Though, she thought with her eyes squeezed shut, it's hard to believe something this painful can be harmless. Every noise in the room seemed to be magnified and expanded until it was a roaring sound of pain. Her fingers shook and her head grew hot while her toes lost all warmth. Her Hogwarts uniform laid uncomfortable and heavy on her sweaty skin. Lily's breathe quickened. She felt as though she was going to throw up as a mysterious force in her head hammered on her brain like a woodpecker to a tree.

"Lily?"

A comforting voice sliced though the classroom ruckus and calmed lily's blood pressure. She cranked her eyes open, past the searing headache and into caramel colored eyes. Lily smiled a little at her best friend Gemma Collins. Gemma was beautiful: she was petite, with a small face, pretty eyes, and Blonde corkscrew curls that bounced with the same energy she had whenever she walked. She was just as beautiful on the inside as out, Gemma was one of those people who was only happy when her best friend was happy, and currently, her best friend wasn't.

"Lily, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, just a little headache" Lily squared her shoulders and opened up her History of Magic book on the table.

"Of course, just a' little headache' that is getting worse and worse and more and more frequent."

_Dang it,_ Lily thought, _Gemma didn't miss a thing._

"I'm fine"

"Bull crap"

"Really"

"I don't believe you."

_That's because it's not true,_ Lily thought. Something was wrong, She didn't know what, but something was wrong. Lily sighed, admitting defeat. She leaned forward and held up her face in her hands. Gemma slid her chair closer and rubbed her best friends back.

"It's ok Lily, It's ok" Gemmas' voice was like a fire in a winter blizzard, comforting and always welcome. Lily took a deep breath and slid her eyes out of her hands. Blowing air through her fingers. Her eyes were red and her face was wet, Lily hardly ever cried.

"We'll go to the hospital wing after class, it'll be ok"

Lily's face snapped up at that, her hands falling to hit the table. Her steadied heartbeat hitched up again.

"No, no. I'll be fine. Really it'll pass"

Gemma couldn't believe what came out of Lily's lips. She obviously was _not_ fine. Lily saw her indignate expression and quickly explained.

"They pass, they always do, and besides we have homework, and a life, and you have Quidditch practice and." She ran out of reasons and Gemma wasn't paying attention to her anyways. Although Gemma was the best friend you could ask for, sometimes she could be a pain in the ass.

"We'll go during study, you know Professor Highler will let us do whatever we want. And next time your coming up with excuses, don't use homework, as we both know you have it done." She smiled smugly and Lily gave a sarcastic smile in return, which hurt her head, causing her to close her eyes, slam her lips together, and put her face in her hands.

" Hey Gem, Mom wants to know if your coming straight over to our- Lily, Good Lord, are you alright?"

Crap, James' voice. Gemma and James were cousins, their mom being sisters, and because of that, Gemma was spending a part of the winter holiday at James house. Lily wished that she could just ignore him but she knew that with his Potter stubbornness, it would be best to get it out of the way.. Trying to maintain whatever diginity she still had, Lily raised her head, opened her eyes as her head screamed in protest and nodded.

"yes-" A wave of nausea crashed down on her and she trapped her eyes and mouth shut. Her body pitched forward as she held the sheer pain of it in. The color drained out of her face and she waited for several seconds before the attack collapsed, and she darned to open her mouth again.

"yes. I'm fine" the moment the words were out she realized how much worse it made the situation look. Before she could say anything to fix it, another wave of agony broke down. Desperate tears streaked down her face with the sheer force of holding that sea of pain in. Lily didn't know how but her head ended up on the table, body trembling, heart pounding, tears running, and helplessness creeping up to conquer her .

"Oh yeah," Gemma said. "We're going to the hospital wing"

Hey, sorry its so short, I just wanted to get it up and posted as soon as possible. Don't worry, it'll get better… I hope. please review if you want me to write more.

~LIZIES~


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Look at me, I'm fine"

"You weren't fine 15 minutes ago."

"I'm fine now"

"And if it happened again? You need serious help Lily"

"Will you stop being logical? It's kind of annoying"

Lily was speaking the truth, she was perfectly fine. The attacks like the one she had in History were all ways like that. Huge, prominent, painful, and then gone. Snap. Leaving no after math other than the blurry memory of pain.

But it was going to happen again, that was positive. It always came back. But once it left, it was hard to submit yourself to the hospital wing for a treatment you don't feel like you need at the time.

"It smells weird in there."

"Excuse me?"

"The hospital wing, it smells like anstetics and… well sick people. "

Gemma glared at her. Obviously not willing to put up with any restiant to the hospital wing what so ever.

"I'll give you a nasal spell."

Lily sighed. This was going to suck. Right now, she felt like a million gallons; energetic, ready happy, and smart. She felt ready to take on life, games, sleep and potions homework.

But _no_, she had to go to the hospital wing.

Gemma sighed but didn't back down. " I'll go ask Highler" She stood up and walked to the front of the room to a young wizard with peanut colored hair, and eyes like a hamster.

Lily stared down at her Charms book, trying to make since of the jumbled spells and hand motions. Before long, the hairs on the back of her neck tingled; whipping her head around she meat the worried eyes a James Potter. Even from behind his glasses, his eyes shown and sparkled like the lake outside the window. She stared right back at him, expecting him to turn away.

He didn't.

'You ok?' he mouth to her from the back wall. After a while, she nodded, slightly annoyed, but at who she didn't know.

"Lily lets go" Gemmas voice pulled her back to reality. Lily pushed her chair out and stood up. The two girls walked side by side out of the room, Lily felt James eyes on their back the whole way.

The two friends walked in silence for a ways. The study room was on the 5th floor while the hospital wing was on the ground. Which gave Lily lots of time to wonder at what happened. _It was just a look_ she thought to herself, _the guy almost saw me pass out, he can check on me after can't he? _But Lily felt like it was something more_. _For almost the entire time they had been at Hogwarts James had been trying to court her. Was it possible she was starting to feel something in return?

The idea shocked and confused Lily almost worse than the pain attacks did.

"Highler was very worried about you, he said to send you his luck." Gemma said to break the silence. She hoped that Lily wasn't to mad at her for making her go to the hospital. She was honestly worried and scared for her friend.

"That's really sweet of him, but I hope I won't need it." She said with a shaky laugh.

"Lily, you're not- you're not to mad at me about making you come here are you?" She almost whispered the words; afraid of the answer. Lily thought about it for a moment before replying:

"No, not really, I mean, I don't want to but I know that its good for me. I just need you to pull me along."

Gemma laughed "What are friends for if not to drag you along?"

"By the hair if necessary and _no_ that is _not _an invitation. "

The two girls laughed while they walked across the great hall and into the Hospital wing.

Inside, A tall wiry women with raven colored hair tied back into a bun was bustling around. She only had 3 students in the hospital, but she kept everyone of them in perfect comfort, while also keeping the hospital wing in top shape.

"Madame Vince?" Gemma asked, her voice echoing throughout the wing. The Medi-Witch turned to look them over and, seeing how neither of them where in desperate pain, inquired why they were here.

" It's me Madame Vince," Lily spoke up before Gemma could, " I was wondering if you could help me. I've been having a bit of a problem"

As expected, Madame Vince's face turned professional as she sat Lily down on a nearby cot.

"What's your problem then?" she asked softly. Lily tried to explain what had been happening in medical terms. Nausea, dizziness and headaches she knew the names of, but some of the others escaped her knowledge.

"How long have you been having these deary?" She asked Lily while writing down all the Lily had said on a notepad.

"um… about a month maybe? More?" At this Madame Vinces' quill dropped.

"A month or more and your barely coming to me?"

Gemma tried to hide her I-Told-You-So-Expression.

"Well they pass. One minute there here, they hurt, it's painful, and then a second later they're gone without leaving a trace."

Madame Vince ticked her tongue, clearly no more impressed by her excuse then Gemma was. The Medi-Witch got up and headed towards a supply area near the end of the wing. Jumping off the bed, Lily, who was still full of energy, followed pulling Gemma along. The storage unit was made up of dozens of white storage shelves filled with packages of all kinds. Some of the packages were long and skinny, some big and bulky, one looked strangely as though it was moving.

To Lily's relief, Madame Vince strode left of the moving package and to a very boring looking box of herbs.

"Now, I think you might be having stress attacks, in some form or another. What I have here is a mixture of herbs and spices. I want you to take one tablespoon to a cup of boiling water every morning and night. I also want you to write down how often these attacks occur and bring it to me. If your attacks worsen or become more frequent then I want you to come to me right away. Understood?"

Lily nodded, even though she hated tea she knew how much worse it could be.

"Yes thank you"

With a notepad and the box of herbs in hand, Lily and Gemma made their way back up to the Study room.

"Curses, I just remembered that I left my bag in the hospital wing, you go on ahead I'll go grab it."

"Ok then, but study's got to be over by now, I'll meet back up with you in the common room. "

Gemma nodded before hurrying away. Lily continued back up the stairs to get her bag, having left it in the study room.

After reaching the 5th floor Lily opened the door to the classroom and walked in walking over to the side of the room where her desk had been when she heard a voice.

"Are you alright then?" James potter asked, standing up from retrieving a quill of the floor. "Are you ok?"

The room was empty other than the two. In one hand games had the red and gold gryffindor bag he used. In the other he had Lily's pale green one decorate with a single dark green flower.

Crap.

"Um yes I'm fine."

"Like you were fine before?" He asked

"No actually fine this time." She said laughing a little. "Madame Vince got me a tea to take that should help so… I'll be fine."

James nodded, worry still fresh in his eyes. Lily's eyes slid down to her bag in his hand.

"Oh, yes, um, I recognized it was yours and thought I'd bring it to you."

"Oh" the act of kindness startled Lily a little."Thank you"

An akward silence fell over them. Lily looking every-where but at his face, while his gaze never left hers.

"Well then" She cleared her throat "I guess I'll just have it back then."

"Oh yes of course" He said briskly. They walked to each other from opposite ends of the room, meeting at the middle. He reached out with her bag, and as she took it their hands brushed.

A static shook coursed through Lily's veins and her breathe quickened. She quickly drew her hand away.

"th-thank you" She stuttered before turning to leave. She hadn't taken 3 steps when he called out for her to wait. He walked forward until she could feel his breath on her neck.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I just cant keep you out of my head, I'm so worried about you, let me help, I can help. Please. I just… please. " James slowly slid his hand up her back to cuff her neck. Lily's breath quickened as her heart beat speed. James took another step forward and drew his other arm around her waist.

He was so close, Lily could feel every part of him brushing against her back. His hands held her close while his fingers radiated warmth. Lily was suddenly aware of everything yet nothing other than James. His breath got closer and closer until his lips rested on the top of her head. She should fight, she knew she should, she should not be letting him do this, but Lily couldn't resist but turn her head until his lips were on her forehead. She was almost another person when she turned and wrapped her arms around his neck pressing closer and closer.

Their foreheads fused together as their hearts beat in chorus. Eyelashes brushed eyelids. Noses pressed together. Lily took her hands and pressed them against his muscled chest as James pulled her neck forward slowly.

Lily was all but melting. The thin hairs on above his lip featured her skin. His air mixed with hers and he pulled her forward. Lips meet….

And Lily jumped; Pulling herself away from him. Shattering the serenity of the moment.

"This is insane James. Absolutely insane. " She threw her hands in the air as she jogged back. James eyes were pulling open, confusion shattering his peaceful expression. " What are we thinking, what was I.. I mean You- And –me –And- No! just no no no" Shaking now, she fled from the room leaving him alone to decipher her actions.

Wow… I'm just as shocked as you are I have no Idea where that came from. But I hoped you like Please review. The longness of this chapter should make up for the tiny chapter before,

Peace

LIZIES


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Most men would be hurt. Their pride would be offended, their ego bruised. Most men would be full of rejection, anger and embarrassment.

Yet James Potter couldn't stop smiling.

Lily had almost kissed him. She had let him in, gave back for everything she received. She had let him touch her, she had touched him back. She hadn't retaliated like he was the enemy sent from hell to annoy her into oblivion.

Most men would be depressed that she'd left, but James Potter was thrilled she stayed as long as she had.

He didn't feel a single step the entire way up to the common room.

This was an amazing direction. Usually Lily couldn't stand to be in the same room as him, and now she was in the same cubic foot as him.

"What are you so bubbly about?" The pink fat lady snapped, glared at James as looked up from her nails.

"Perry worth" He replied smiling. _Bubbly _he thought as the pink lady swung forward, _what a perfect word to describe this_.

The common room was homey as always. Clustered around the roaring fire were several large and squashy arm chairs. Further back was a mix up of medium sized round tables and smaller square ones that could fit 4 people at most. Windows spotted the walls with seals big enough to sit in, and the entire room was painted comforting colors of red and gold.

James looked around until he spotted his friends on one of the larger round tables. They were studying with the other girls in their year. Butterflies trekked in his stomach until he realized that her red hair wasn't among them. Walking over he saw how was there. Sirius Black, his best friend and son of two very uptight pure bloods. Remus Lupin, a smart kind person who happened to morph into a killing werewolf once a month. Peter, a boy with mouse like features, was watching his homework as though it might run off with a sort of panicky expression. On the other side of the table was 2 Gryffindor girls; Michelle Thompson, who was laughing at some joke Lupin had mentioned, Her long dark brown hair hanging down her back, her blue eyes humorous. Next to her sat Adrian Torrez, a Hispanic energetic girl who was trying to hide her laughter by staring at her book.

Neither Lily or Gemma was present, James noted.

"Hey James" Sirius said as he sat down next to him. "We were just explaining to Adrian how Slytherin boys have fun" His mouth curved up into a grin and his eyebrows wiggled.

"You guys are horrible" He said pulling out his transfiguration homework

"We speak the truth, nothing but it" With a solemn expression he balled his hand into a fist and held it against his heart.

"Are you fingers crossed by any chance?"

"No. Maybe. Does it matter?"

James rolled his eyes half heartedly.

"What's up with you? I mean, you're practically glowing!" Sirius said tipping back on his chair.

"It's been a good day."

Up in the doors Lily was fuming with embarrassment. She was laying face down in her bed, clothes still on and bad next to her on the ground. Her chest rose slowly with each breath, her fingers wrapped in her hair. A pressure on the bad caused her to look up at Gemma, who placing a steaming cup of tea that smelled strongly of Lily's medicine on the table sat down and ran a hand gently across her best friends back. Gemma opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, Lily sat up and picked up the tea

"You look like crap, Lils," She said knowledgably

"Thank you, I needed that."

Gemma smiled slightly before moving her hand to try and fix what Lily had done to her hair. Lily drank the tea and wrinkled her nose.

"eww"

"Could be worse"

"I know, doesn't mean I like it"

Gemma laughed a little, putting her hand back in her lap now that she had determined she had down everything to fix Lily's hair that was possible without a wand.

"What happened?" She asked without looking at her.

"What do you mean? Nothing has happened"

"Oh _Please_ Lily," Gemma said startling her "I've known you for five years, I know you better than that. Something is wrong, Something other than these pain attacks, something you're not telling me."

Lily looked down at her cup, guilt curning inside her. She could tell her now, her best friend would be understanding about it, she hoped. Or, Gemma could be totally and completely discusted she wouldn't have any words of advice, their friends hip would be at risk there.

But she wouldn't hear about it elsewhere, Lily argued with herself, it's unlikely that James would be going around boosting about it. His pride was most likely all ready far to punctured. Gemma would never hear about it from him, and if not from him, who else?

She could forget it happened completely, never act, think or say anything about it. She could keep this mistake a complete secret.

She was her best friend though.

"I almost kissed James" Even without looking up, Lily could tell how her friends mouth dropped open, her eyes widened and her wand dropped out of her hand.

They sat in silence for a moment, Lily wondering if telling had been a mistake.

Suddenly Gemma let out a sound that could be a morbid laugh. It cut off quikly and she practically hissed

"You did _what_?"

"I _almost _kissed him, but I didn't, not really" She offered in her defense, but Gemma wasn't listening. She was pacing around the room now, throwing her hands in the air and waving them profusely.

"Why? What in Merlins' name where you thinking? He's _James_!"

"I know…"

"And do you know how many girls he's dated? How many he's dumped without a word or explanation? He's a player, he'll do nothing but hurt you!"

"I know!"

Finally, Gemma stopped to look at her and sighed. She was sitting up still, tea on the table hand folded in her lap and shoulders in defensively. Her eyes where misty.

Gemma walked over to her and sat down taking her hands.

"I just don't want you to get hurt."

"I know that, I appreciate that, that's why I almost kissed him instead of actually kissed him."

Gemma nodded, Pulling Lily's head onto her shoulders and wrapping her arms around her shoulders.

"Besides, I doubt he'll ever talk to me again."

Gemma laughed at her friends sulken tone

"That's a good thing, right?"

"It should be."

Lily's face was still buried into her shoulder so she couldn't see her face. She yawned and her head became heavier.

"Here," Gemma said lying her down on the bed" go to sleep, you've had a hard day."

"Thanks Gem, you're a good friend"

"Thank you Lily" She picked up her wand and gave Lily a sleeping spell they had learned in charms the day before.

"Goodnight," she said closing the curtains around her bed and leaving the room. She walked briskly down the stairs, over to the table where the fifth years were gathered, past James, Reaching out a hand to grab his ear and hauled him into the hallway.

"ow, OW, Gemma what are you doing? Ow!" James complained. Gemma stopped and shoved him against the wall, gabbing a finger at his throat.

"What are you _doing?"_ She asked harshly

"OW! Gemma what are you talking about," she jabbed him in the throat again " what is wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with _you_ is what I'd like to know!" Jabbed her finger again

"What are you talking about-"

"You kissed Lily!"

Despite her anger, a slow cocky smile spread across his face

"Ahh she told you did she? That's a step in the right direction"

Gemma pocked her finger harder this time

"Are you bloody insane cousin?"

"Bloody insane in love, yes"

"This is no time for jokes!"

"I'm not joking!"

Gemma sighed, taking her hand away to rub her eyes, breathing deeply. When she opened her eyes, her nose was a bit red and James was leaning against the wall.

"If you hurt her-"

"What!" now it was James turn to be raged "Hurt her? Why In the world would I hurt her?"

Gemma was shocked, but she got over it quickly

"Look what you did to all those other girls, looked at Annie, and Joanna and-"

"If I hurt them it was because I'm in love with Lily!"

Gemma moaned, putting her face in her hands again and sinking down to the floor. This was all getting far to complicated.

"She's the only one I've had true and strong feelings for."

The truth was ringing in his voice like a bell, strong and dominant. She couldn't argue with it.

"Just- just don't hurt her"

"I won't"

"If you do I'll hex you into oblivion"

"Don't worry I can mostly take care of it myself, but you better hurt whatever is left of me"

"Hopefully I won't need to, just don't hurt her."

"I won't. I promise you that much"

"Fine. I'll hold you to that.

Well a little bit of cousin fighting, a little weird. I hope you like it though. It will get more interesting as the story progresses though. Please review!

Peace

LIZIES


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

In Lily's mind there were 3 different ways to react after the almost kiss, 1 go along with it, maybe kiss him again, 2 tell him she doesn't feel that way and move on trying to be friends or, 3 hate him completely.

She liked option 3 the best.

Lily sighed, that was one of the biggest mistakes she'd made all year. Kiss him? James Potter? The cocky idiot who routinely made a fool out of her closest friend? Severus was her first tie to the wizarding world, he brought her into it, answered all of her questions about who she was. He had always been there for her. He was the one she could lean on no matter what. James Potter was far to ignorant to see that/

_And speaking of being there for her…_

Where was he? Lily's eyes scanned the long Slytherin table for the familiar black hair. She was just beginning to wonder if he hadn't come to breakfast when she saw him at the far end of the table. He looked sickly, his hair more greasy than usual. He had shadows around his eyes and his clothes were uneven around his shoulders. He looked distracted and uncertain.

Suddenly his head snapped up, but he smiled when he saw her. Severus pulled out his wand and made quick movements on the table. Lily was confused until she looked down in front of her and saw green letters sketched out in green light.

Of course, it was one of the communication spells they had been learning in Charms. The words hovered about an inch above the table, and Lily knew that only she could read them:

You ok? Want to hang out later? After OWLS prep we have the afternoon off.

Lily smiled, of course, hanging out with Severus would be the perfect thing for her right now. Still smiling, she looked up and nodded. He smiled back at her, bigger this time, he leaned forward and made more etches at the table.

Cool, how about 3 by that tree by the lake? You know the one?

She did. 3 o'clock would be perfect, with that she would have enough time to finish whatever homework she had left before meeting him.

Sounds perfect, Can't wait. Is everything all right? You look sick. I'm worried about you.

She swirled her wand around and the words disappeared. She looked up to watch Severus face as he read the message. He smiled, reading the first half of the message, but his smile slowly faded as he finished. He looked up his lips pressed into a shallow line. Finally, he sighed and began to write a message.

A great rustle of wings caused them both to look up. Mail time was here. Hundreds of owls were flying this way and that to their masters. A Large tawny owl came up to Lily with a letter from her parents and a copy of todays' _Daily Prophet _in her beck.

"Hey Starla, what do you have for me?"

She took the mail out of her beck and placed them on the table. Starla pecked into her plate and started nibbling on a piece of toast.

"Mind if I?..." Gemma trailed off suggestively, her hand next to the paper

"Of course not, go ahead."

Gemma took the paper and scanned the headings with a slightly bored expression. Lily turned her letter over and opened it; a folded piece of paper falling out. She picked it up and read it without much energy. Nothing was really new at home, grandma was coming for a visit, petunia still hated her, Mom was wondering if she was coming for Christmas, petunia still hated her, Dad had planted a good deal for the company and petunia still hated her.

Nothing new at all.

"Has anything big happen at home?" Gemma asked without looking up, Still spooning oatmeal into her mouth.

"No, not really, it's rather boring. " She put the letter back into the ripped envelope and stuck it into her bag.

"One things that not boring, did you hear that Alice went out with Frank Longbottom last night?"

"OMG you've got to be kidding" Lily all but dropped her spoon as she swerved around to look at her. Gemma nodded with her lips pursed.

"That's great! I mean, she's had a crush on him since _forever"_ Lily said smiling. Alice was a year younger than them, but they had clicked together instantly. Although they weren't in any classes together, they still had long talks by the fire and whispered talks of cute guys.

"Well how did it go?" Lily asked impatiently, scooting closer to Gemma on the bench

"It must have gone well because she's practically glowing!" They shrieked excitedly and then laughed at her good fortune.

"So are you next?" Lily asked wiggling her eye brows at her.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh please! Your crush on Ty? Are you finally going to do something about it?"

Gemmas' face reddened and she stared hard at her plate.

"That was along time ago"

"Yeah but it definitely still exist!"

"Shut up"

"Admit it!"

"SHHHHHH"

Lily brought her voice down and she out a hand on her friends closed shoulders.

"Don't talk about it! He's a whole year older and frankly doesn't know I exsit.

"That is not true! He totally likes you!"

"What? No he doesn't. How do you know?"

Lily had her attention now. She glanced over Gemmas' shoulder before looking into her eyes.

"Because he stares at you a lot, like he is right now."

Gemmas head whipped round and her eyes met the green ones of Ty Michaels. He was a 6th year with bleach blonde hair, mossy green eyes and a definite 6 pack. His cheeks darkened when They caught him staring at Gemma, and he looked down at his full plate with his eyes shut in embarrassment. Gemma smiled, a look of disbelief in her eyes.

"I told you so."

Right at that moment, Albus Dumbledore, the new headmaster called their attention. His gray beard went down to his lower chest and his eyes had a lively twinkle behind his glistening half moon glasses.

"I have some very important and grave news to share."

A few of the last people looked up at him. He waved his wand and the rest of breakfast disappeared.

"When this school was first created, several strong and powerful spells were put into place by its founders. Having a large amount of young witches and wizards in one spot attracts a large amount of vial creatures. The spells that were placed created a shield around this school so that these monsters could not enter. These spells have weakened."

A rush of whisphers waved across the room, tones of shock, surprise and disbelieve mingled with the fresh fear in the air.

"Weakened? What does he mean?" Gemma whispered. Lily shook her head

"These spells must stay in force; we cannot risk losing them. Because of this, the Ministry and the School Board have decided to place 3 dozen armed agents to protect us from monsters that get in, prevent others from getting in and then to reinstate the protection spells are well as the can. These Officers will be staying in the lower west wing, they will be treated with respect, and if they need anything from any of you, you will help. Understood?"

Students nodded, still slightly confused. Teachers look sad but like they had already knew.

The agents from the ministry arrived that very morning, 36 fully grown witches and wizards dressed in long robes. They started their work right away, and Lily knew that this year was going to be different from anything else she had ever experienced.

Yes! It's over! Sorry, I just got really bored writing that chapter, even more bored than you did reading it, it took me DAYS to write it. The next chapter will be better though. I('d like to dedicate this chapter to clueless c, sorry this chapter was so slow! Happy birthday!

Please review

Peace

LIZIES


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

36 agents were sent from the Ministry. They were divided up into teams, Gryffindor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Over All.

In the first four teams, there were 7 people in each. They stayed in the dorms with the students from each year in each house. In a male was assigned to an age group, they would stay in the boys dorm, If a girl, the girl dorms. They would also attend classes, eat, and study with their age group. If an attack was thrust upon any one from a specific group, the agent there would report to the Over All.

The Over All group consists of 8 people who took care of the overall student body. They ate at a table set up at the back of the great hall, and ran regular rounds around the castle and grounds. Dumbledore had converted unused classrooms into bedrooms so that students could reach one from almost any given point in the castle in 15 minutes or less.

After Breakfast, the entire Gryffindor house gathered in the common room to listen to Professor McGonagall, who stood in front of the fire, 7 robed witches and wizards standing in a V shape behind her, their arms crossed behind their back and their faces staring emotionlessly forward.

"These people you see behind me are the 7 ministry agents sent to protect you. They will be treated with no less than the up most respect, and confidence you would show to your own. Do I make myself clear?"

A few people nodded their heads, some agreed out loud. McGonagall waited until everyone made some sign of acceptance before moving on.

"Each year has one agent sent to protect them specifically. These witches or wizards will be shadowing you. Anything they say will happen immediately, anything they ask of you will be preformed. Are we in agreement?"

Once again she waited for response. As soon as she was satisfied, she pulled out a scroll from the depths of her robes.

"When I call your year, you will listen to the instructions and follow them to the letter.  
First years: go to the dormitories of the girls of your age. In a few moments your agent will come up and introduce themselves, set out roles _that will be followed_, and then you will show them the castle. Second years do the same except for the boys dorms, third year female dorms as well, forth female, fifth years male dorms and sixth female and seventh male. If I hear of any of these personals being mistreated in anyway, they will be subject to which ever punishment professor Dumbledore and I see fit. Understood?"

Everyone agreed and made their way upstairs. Lily and Gemma entered the 5th year boys' dorm and had mirror looks of slight disgust on their faces.

"It's called cleaning. Ever heard of it?" Gemma asked to Sirius and James who were already playing exploding snaps in the corner.

Lily didn't even bother talking to them. She simply pulled out her wand, flicked her wrist and muttered a spell under her breath. A whitish haze sprayed from her wand and enveloped the room. When it evaporated, the room was spotless, with the slight scent of rain.

"That is awesome! Teach it to me?" Remus asked excitedly as he leaped into the room, Pettigrew shuffling in behind him.

"Tough luck with that one" Michelle said walking into the room, "She'll proubrally just tell you the book it's in and then leave you to your own devices. Lily gasped offend and a little embarrassed because that as exactly what she had planned to do.

"I will not" She said to Michelle who was now lounging casually on one of the beds next to Lupin. "I'll tell him how." Walking over to him, she pulled her wand back out of her pocket. "It's the left flick wand movement, the words are _Corellius Monone_, got it?" he nodded flicking his wrist and practicing the words.

"This is going to be so cool guys!" Adrian said as she practically bounced in the room. "We have a _guy _agent, which means that not only is he smart, brave but proubrally cute and available."

All of the guys paused at their various activities and looked at her as though she had sprouted another head. Lily laughed and Gemma rolled her eyes.

"I know right!" Michelle shrieked and ran over to clasp her hands. "I hope we do get a cute one; there were a few that would qualify as scary looking. Except for that one farthest back, on the left side, you know the one?"

"Yes! He is soooo cute!"

"You guys are soooo weird!" James said with the same tone they had been using.

"And there is something wrong with you. Sorry" Adrian said giving a delicate shrug of her shoulders.

"Knock it off, both of you" Lily said finally standing up. "You both have problems. Deal with it"

"Agreed, but who doesn't?" Everyone turned their head at the new voice from the doorway. James, Sirius, Michelle and Adrian mouths all dropped open. Lupin looked up and stared, Peter made a strange noise and Gemma face turned blank.

Lily stayed in complete shock.

Standing at the door was a 6' buff man with shaggy brown hair and piercing green eyes. His square jaw line was relaxed and his muscular arms folded easily across his chest.

There was no possible way.

"I take it your our agent?" James said in a rather small voice.

"Aye, that would be me." He said with a thick Irish accent.

Was it really?...

"So exactly who are you?" Sirius asked, gaining his voice and arrogant aura back.

"That agent sent to protect you. I'll be sleeping here." He waved his wand and a bed identical to the others except slightly larger appeared near the door. "Attending your classes, study sessions, meals and anything else is exactly where I'm assigned to be. 'Course, I'll be in the back, the unnoticed, not interfering unless mortal danger is about to strike you."

"Yes," Michelle said, "We know that much, but _who_ are you?"

Maybe it was….

The strange man turned his humorous eyes at Lily.

It couldn't be, but it _must_…

"You already know, don't you Lily-bear?"

Every head in the room whipped over to look at her. Some of them made noises of confusion but she ignored them. She looked at him, tilting her head this way and that. It was definitely him; he had that say dimple in the cheek, the cleft in his chin, the crows' feet around his eyes. She smiled and tried to contain her excitement. It really was him. She hadn't seen him in_ years_, and had missed him horribly. Unable to contain it any longer, she ran across the room and embraced him with so much strength he almost fell over.

"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! Your actually here! I haven't seen you in ages, Dec, how come you didn't write, or, or or anything!"

He laughed and pet her hair

"Good to know you missed me Lila'"

She pulled back and frowned suddenly, pulling back her fist to rap his chest continually.

"Hey! Knock that off, I'm a government official!"

"No you're not; you're Dec-i-bear." Satisfied with herself she hugged him again. Rocking against his chest.

"I'm sorry, but would you mind enlightening the rest of us?" James asked from the bed where he was still sitting.

"Of course, sorry, Lily, Why don't you explain? There's a couple o' spells that need to be preformed to the girls dorms, I'll go see to it?"

As soon as he had left, Lily turned to the rest of them who were staring at her with mixtures of confusion, excitement, curiosity and, in James case, a little bit of jealousy. Lily sighed, and walked over to the bed he had summoned, sitting down; she tried to think of the best way to tell the story.

"When I was a kid, my parents would both work. Their hours barely over lapped each other, leaving a 4 hour difference where there was no one to watch me and my sister. So my mum hired teenaged Declan." She motioned to the girls' dorm across the hall. "Every year, from September to June, he would leave, but he would always come back during the summer."

"He went to Hogwarts then?" Lupin asked from the corner where he was going through a dresser.

"Yes but we had no clue at the time, I didn't know about magic."

"Ok then what?" Michelle probed

"Well, he was the best person that ever watched us. He was like that big brother that was always there. He would play games with us, and make cookies and watch TV and give us embarrassing nick names, and then one year, when he was seventeen, he was with us for about half way into the summer before he left." Lily broke off; talking about it forced her to remember. He was her first friend, it was strange with him, she knew he was different, at least in the way she was, but Lily was always so confused why he couldn't tell her. She hadn't even put 2 and 2 together and got the fact he was a wizard until just now.

"I feel stupid now, it makes so much sense. He's a wizard. When he left it was to train and become a government official. He must have realized I was a witch a long time ago. He's real name is Declan O'Malley, Irish obviously, he's awesome. This is awesome!"

Michelle and Adrian seemed to agree, as did Lupin and Sirius, Peter was still in the corner and for some reason James looked like he was going to hit something. Before Lily could ask what was wrong, Declan came back in.

"Alright, So There is a certain amount of rules you've got to listen to, and then a special treat that should make your day. Why don't you sit on down and I'll tell you both?"

They all sat down in various positions on the beds, floor and against walls.

"Rule number one; curfew is now strictly 11, unless I say otherwise, and, I will if a good need pops up, which a kitchen run totally does." Sirius and James insubordinate expressions were wiped out as soon as Declan said that last part. "Rule two; I'm responsible for you, so before doing anything stupid, check with me first and I can help you do it in a way you won't get hurt as bad" The boys were definitely starting to like this guy "Rule three; the Over All group is in charge. If I say something and they say differently, check with me and then do what they say. Also, new rules may pop up later, and they will be enforced as well. "Monster protocol; if you see, hear or feel anything abnormal or strange, I should be alerted immediately. If the organism you encounter is aggressive or violent is any way what so ever, find the nearest officer and tell them. If you can't find any officer, go to the nearest bedroom of a member of the Over All, the rooms are protected by certain spells that will protect you until someone else comes along. In the room of these personals there is also a floating orb near the door; touch that and help will come immediately. Any misuse or mistreatment of this protocol will result in suspension or possibly even by being expelled from the school and grounds permanently. Understood?"

Almost everyone blinked and let that sink in. Those rules and protocols made this seem a lot more realistic, no longer like some simple issue that would be fixed without harm or accident in a few days.

"Wow" Lupin was the first one to speak. James and Sirius nodding their head in agreement. Expulsion was a lot more to think about than a few days of detention.

"You said there announcement? A good one?" Adrian said, and the other girls nodded their head in agreement. " What is it?"

"Ahh," he said, his face turning back from strict agent into humorous Dec-i-bear. "Yes, the first doss of spells will require all of us agents, so no one will be able to supervise students, as a result of that; the entire student body, come tomorrow morning, will be shipped off for a weekend at home."

"Seriously?" Michelle screamed in excitement jumping up and down with Adrian "We get the whole weekend off? That is awesome!"

Michelle wasn't the only one who was excited. James and Sirius we're already planning it out, how Sirius would stay at his house. Lupin looked glad but a little hesitant, seeing how it was a full moon. Peter was smiling a little, his mouse like features dominating his face in the dark corner. Gemma was also grinning from ear to ear, her pixie like face practically glowing. Lily seemed to be the only one unhappy by the news.

Later that night, the girls all returned to their dormitories to get ready for tomorrow. Michelle and Adrian were busy packing, arguing about what to bring, what to leave, and whether or not to bring this blouse or those jeans. Gemma was sitting in the windowsill, reading a letter she had sent home.

"What are you going to do Gemma?" Lily asked from where she was laying on her bed. Gemma looked up at her sad expression.

"My parents are spending the weekend at my Aunt Julies house this weekend, she just had her baby and mum's going to take care of her. That's where I'll be going to. With James to his parents' house."

Lily nodded, that made perfect sense, them being cousins and all. She would have a nice surprise break.

"What about you, lily?" she asked, she could sense that something was wrong, but what she wasn't sure.

"I… I have absolutely no idea." She sat up, sighing and shaking her head. "My parents are gone to London for some conferences with work. My sister is staying at her friend's house and I…. don't know." She groaned and put her face and hairs into her hands. This was a down side of being a witch, few normal friends, a sister who hated you and nowhere to go one surprise holidays.

Gemma was staring to grow an evil smile on her face, an even more evil idea forming in her head.

"Lily" she said sweetly, her best friends looked up at her and grunted softly "Why don't you come with me?"

"What?" She really looked at her now, her head reeling." Come with you where?"

"To the Potters"

"Potters? As in James potter?"

"Yes, they're good, down to earth people; they'd love to have you. Mum and dad are taking the guest room, but you could sleep in the living room with me, you can have to couch. "

It was a bad idea, Lily knew. But what other option did she have? There had to be something else other than the Potters, she decided to back out of it mannerly.

"I don't want to impose."

"Don't be silly you won't! This will be so much fun if you can" she pulled out a paper and started writing a note to James parents. "They live practically down the street from this rec center, so on Friday we can go and swim there, on Saturday I know their planning a BBQ in the backyard, then we can comne in and watch movies all night because on Sunday we can sleep in and maybe go to church it will be so much fun!

Gemma squealed again, and before Lily could voice her strong discomfort about it, she gave the letter to her owl and opened the window to let it fly out.

A few hours later, a response came. Lily Evans would officially be spending the weekend at the Potters.

**MUAHAHAHAHA that ending sounds kind of evil huh? This chapter was really long 2,700 words plus and about 6 pages, I proubrally should have broke it into two but I hope you like it! The next chapter is going to be awesome! Please review and tell me what you think!**

**PEACE  
LIZIES**


	6. The Start of the Weekend

**Chapter 6**

"**The start of the Weekend"**

The next morning, Lily and Gemma made their way to the gate at the end of the Hogwarts grounds. There, they joined a line leading up to where government officials were using Side-Along-Apparating to bring students where ever they needed to go for the surprise holiday. Some were going home, some to relatives, some to hotels or any other places they could think of. If the latter, Professor Dumbledore had agreed to pay necessary cost for those who needed to stay abroad.

Lily had an uneasy feeling in her stomach as she slowly moved down the line. On her back was a backpack filled with everything Lily and Gemma would need for the weekend. Since it was only 3 days and they weren't bringing much, they had combined their bags and then used an expansion charm to fit it all in.

Next to her, Gemma was chatting cheerfully about all of her cousins and siblings that would be here, and about all of the things they would do. She was just as excited as Lily was nervous.

"Lily?" She asked seeing the uncomforting expression on her face. "Relax. This weekend is going to rock"

"I feel like I'm intruding"

"Don't. They'll absolutely love to have you. We all will."

Lily expression didn't move what so ever, so, sighing, Gemma took a letter out of her back pocket.

"Look at this response, Aunt Julie is almost move excited about it then the student body is."

Lily took the letter from Gemma and straightened it out. On the piece of parchment was a neat and tidy italic scroll; 

_Dear Gemma,_

_It's so good to hear from you. It's hard to believe that they are letting all of the student body go for the weekend. Good thing though, having just had my baby, James is dying to see him. We would very much enjoy having you over as well. It is, to my belief, that Marcus has planned a very long and eventful weekend, and knowing him, it might be a bit too much. As for the matter of your friend, Lily, we would positively __love __to have her, although we can be a bit much from time to time, I hope we don't scare the dear child. But if she is willing to brace herself for the Potters, she is more than welcome here. The kids will be thrilled and Lord knows I could use another set of hands to help if she wouldn't mind. We will try to make the house and activities most accommodating for her, a though I do not know what it is she likes. I guess I will have to wait until she gets here. I'm very much looking forward to learning about her, as all the stories (and there have been plenty) including her always portrays her as an amazing person. _

_I can't wait until you get here .I hope your journey is well and Marcus will pick the two of you up at the station seeing how he refuses to let me out of the house due to the baby._

_Lots of love,_

_Aunt Julie_

"She seems like a really nice person" Lily said looking back over the letter "but what's up with the whole lots of stories about me thing?"

"Well" Gemma's face was red as she looked at the ground." Come on Lily, you're my best friend and James fancies you. Between the two of us there had been some talk of you over holidays."

"Gemma!" She said folding up the letter angrily "Now I'm going to have some big reputation of being amazing to live up to"

"We both now that won't be a problem," Gemma replied as they stepped forward. "You are amazing without even trying. And besides, Aunt Julies is obviously very pleased to have you. You aren't intruding what so ever."

Lily wouldn't lie, reading the letter had made her feel better; anyone who seemed that exuberant about it just on paper had to be ecstatic about it in real life.

"Maybe your right, this might be really fun after all"

"Fun? This is going to be awesome!"

They had reached the front of the line, where a tall witch dressed in robes took their hands and asked them their destination.

"Godric's Hollow bus station." Gemma said clearly and with excitement. The witch nodded and Apparated with a small popping sound. Lily closed her eyes and felt the familiar yet uncomfortable sensation of Aparation. She opened her eyes as soon as the world stopped spinning. She and Gemma were standing behind a pillar in a slightly crowded bus station. The two girls walked out from behind it and easily fell into step with some other passengers from the nearby trains that were to the left of them on the tracks. They pushed their way outside and Lily looked over the town as Gemma scanned the inside crowd.

Godric's hollow was a quaint yet busy town. Paved roads and cobbled sidewalks mapped out the city. On the outskirts of the city there sat several smaller cottages while they gradually grew bigger near the center. Children played on the front lawns and parents of both Wizarding and Muggle worlds pocked their heads out occasionally to check on them. Lily's eyes lingered hungrily on a little girl who was bicycling, fell, and then had her big sister rush out to help her. Watching this scene caused far too many unwelcome memories to return. She turned to look back at Gemma.

And that's when it happened.

The pain was burning, consuming, knocking down all and any sanity in its path to conquer her mind. With a small scream, she was slightly aware of her physical body falling against the ground. She had experienced pain before, but nothing as intense as this. Thousands of knives were being thrust into to her body, hammers colliding with her skin and rocks were being pelted at her nerves. A crushing weight dropped onto her shoulders. Her bones melted, her blood froze, her skin boiled, her joints hardened.

But what were most shocking were the Images;

A building on fire, a lake freezing over, walls exploding, darkness in every direction, burst of lights in ever hue of red, green and silver. Tears being shed, teeth being gnashed, fingers being clawed, laughter being lost forever. The horrible litter of a car crash, an erratic heartbeat crashing to a stop, and a swarm of insanely placed music notes tying it all together with a cunning and terrible instrument of death.

A sucking sound, and then it all cleared. She was sprawled across the wooden porch of the station. Somewhere in the dim back round, she thought she heard Gemma shouting her name with a horrified tone. Slowly, and with all the resentment in the world, she cranked an eye open.

"Wha'?" She asked her voice croaking out of her throat. "Wha' happened?"

"I don't know" Said Gemma who looked like she was freaking out. "You were fine and then you scream and fell over and started shaking. I didn't know what to do" Poor Gemma, she looked like she was going to start crying. Feeling like she was going to scream, Lily stood up and picked up her backpack.

"I'll be fine Gemma; it was just a pain Attack."

"You've never had one that bad."

It was true; this had put a complete new meaning to the phrase "hurt like hell"

"Your right, we'll talk to Madame Vince when we get back."

At first Lily was confused at Gemma's expression. Then she recognized it as fierce determination.

"Oh no, we are not waiting the whole weekend to get you checked out, Aunt Julies a Medi-witch, we'll have her look you over."

"Gemma…"

"No whining. No excuses, something is seriously wrong."

Something was seriously wrong. Lily had never experienced anything that intensely horrifying in her life. And what made it worse, is that she had the strangest feeling that the worst was yet to come.

**TADA I'm done with this chapter! I wanted to just keep writing but I figured this was the best place to stop. Kinda scary huh? I ran out of good adjectives to describe her pain attack. I like my metaphors though. Hope you like it! Please review!**

**Peace**

**LIZIES**


	7. Welcome Home

**Chapter 7**

The two girls hadn't even stopped arguing when Marcus Potter showed up. He was tall, 6 foot 3 or 4 his black hair was messy like his son's but you could tell he at least attempted to keep his straight. His round face was kind and a permanent smile was glued on his face.

"Uncle Marcus!" Gemma shrieked launching herself into his arms. The man laughed, wrapping his arms around her and picking her up off the ground, spinning her slightly.

"Hello there, Gemma-bear. Did ya miss me?" He set her down on her feet gently, his blue eyes sparkling. "And this must be the lovely Lily." He said turning and looking at her affectionately. "It's nice to meet you Lily. My name is Marcus Potter, but you can call me whatever you want."

Lily was still slightly rattled by this man. How could James, that arrogant toe rag, be a descendant of him?

"Th-thank you, sir, it's very kind of you to take me in over the weekend." At this Marcus's eyes tightened a little,

"Looks like I lied" He made _tsking_ sounds with his tongue. "You can call me anything but sir" he faked a shutter and Lily laughed, her pain attack temporarily forgotten. "As for taking you in, the pleasure is ours entirely." Reaching down he picked up their bag that they had dropped when Lily fell, he swung it over his shoulder and headed down the wooden steps. Lily and Gemma followed behind him and soon the three were walking side by side down the charming streets of Godric's Hollow.

"That house belongs to Bathilda Bagshot, it does, "

"Bathilda Bagshot?" Didn't she write a text book, Lily? A History of Magic I think." Lily and Marcus nodded

"Yes, her family has lived here for centuries, ever since it was founded."

"And how long have the Potters?" Lily asked before she could stop herself.

"Since it was founded, in fact, my ancestors were some of the first to settle here."

They past more cottages, a park, a church, a graveyard and finally thy arrived in front of the Potter house, Were Lily stopped dead in her tracks.

The house was huge; At least 3 stories with and attic and a basement. A deep porch showed how long the house was. The exterior was painted a light brown color with golden hinges and frames over the door and windows, a white picket fence ran across the edge of the front lawn that embraced the house and wrapped around the back, where Lily thought she could already hear children's laughs and screams of delight. She had no idea that James came from such a palace. Her own home consisted of 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, and a cluttered kitchen and living area.

Shaking her head slightly, she jogged a little to catch up with Marcus and Gemma who were now trotting up the front porch steps. Going into the house, they entered a small entre with a drawing room off to the side, everything in homey shades of gold and maroon. After passing through another door, they entered a room that took up most of the ground floor. The open room was U shaped since it bent around the staircase. In one corner was a long dining table, a short ways down the room from that was a large kitchen. At the other side of the room was the door they had come through, and then an area Lily assumed was an entertainment corner.

"Were heerrreee" Marcus said in a sing song voice parading into the entertainment area where 3 other adults were sitting, 1 man and 2 females who were sitting down. Lily recognized one of three people as Nathan Collins, Gemma's dad. He was standing closest to them; leaning against one the back wall. Gemma hugged him quickly and then went over to stand by one of the girls. In her arms she was holding a bundle of blankets which Lily assumed was a baby.

Kneeling down, Gemma moved a piece of the blanket out of the way so that she could see the baby's face.

"Oh my goodness, Aunt Julie! He is absolutely adorable."

"Thanks" said the woman who Lily assumed was Julie Potter. She gave the bundle of blankets to Gemma and stood up. She was a strong looking, 5 yet still pale from childbirth. Her light brown hair was tied back into a lose bun, and when Lily looked at her hazel eyes she was surprised to see that they were looking over her like she was looking over was.

"Hello Lily" She said, her voice was soft and sweet and comforting "It's so good to have you here" She held out her arms for a hug and as lily hugged her back, she was once again confused how someone like James Potter could have been related to these amazing people. Pulling away, Julie smiled at her and looked her over again, a small smile on her lips. "Well now, you're even more beautiful than imagined."

Lily blushed, a pick color radiating from behind her cheeks. "Thank you" she said quietly

"Oh sure, don't even look at me, I'm just the little sister" At the sarcastic voice behind her, Lily looked over at Isobel Collins, Gemma's mom. She was shorter than her sister, but not by much, her hair was also light brown but was curlier and her eyes reminded Lily strongly of Gemma. When she walked she practically bounced over to Lily to give her a big hug.

"Nice to finally meet you, Gemma has told us all about you."

"Yeah that's what I keep hearing." Lily responded with a slight laugh. Isobel laughed to, opening her mouth to say something when a tired looking 15 year old boy came sliding down the stairs, his black hair was messed up and his glasses were lopsided.

"This weekend is going to suck! Sirius insane parents won't let him stay over here!"

Julie turned to look at him. Her eye brows knitted together. "That's too bad honey, looks like your actually going to have to bond with your family this time"

James lifted up his eyebrows, clearly not impressed. "Sure, whatever." He turned to look at the people. "Hey, Uncle Nate, Dad, Aunt Izzie, Gemma, Lily- wait LILY?" His eyes that had been moving off her not focused with a look of disbelief.

"Lily is going to be spending the weekend with us" Marcus said from where he was talking about the latest Quidditch match.

"You're…. staying here?"

A little bit worried about the glint in his eye. Lily nodded

"Well then, this weekend might not suck anymore."

**I like having that as the last line, sounds cool. Sorry it was so short, I'll try to make the next one longer but I don't know. Please review!**

**Peace**

**LIZIES**


	8. Meet the Potters

**Chapter 8**

"**Come meet the Potters"**

A few minutes after James came down, Marcus and the 3 fifteen year olds went outside. The French door that led to the back yard was located in between the kitchen and the entertainment center. Once they stepped outside, Lily could hear all the sounds of delight that she heard when they were out front. The back yard was expansive; a large portion of grass controlled the center, while a wide sidewalk ran around the edges. Interrupting the concrete was several flower beds and what looked like a pool. Running around on the lawn, playing what looked like some sort of tag, was 6 little kids, ranging from toddlers to wizards obviously of age.

"Come on Lily, Come meet the Potters" Gemma said, pulling her along "Don't worry, James is the worst one"

"Hey!" James pretended to be offended, pushed her affectionately in the arm. "I'm not _that _bad"

"Keep telling yourself that buddy, maybe it will come true"

They all laughed at this as they walked along the path to a 21 or so year old girl who was stretched out on a lawn chair next to the pool. When Lily was brought closer, she realized just how beautiful the girl was.

She had long, straight, raven black hair that tumbled past her hips. Her skin was that tan color most girls would kill for, when she opened her eyes at their approach, Lily looked into deep hazel eyes that reminded her of all the happiest times in her life.

"Well, would you look what the griffin brought in" she sat up, smoothing out her long legs before draping them over the side of the chair before standing up.

"Something a bit better than the usual rats, except for in James's case of course." Gemma said hugging the girl.

"Why do you hate me so much today?" James asked, throwing his arms up in exasperation.

"I don't, I totally love you, and you're just really fun to tease." Gemma smiled and ducked, but not fast enough to dodge the nudge James did on her head.

The girl rolled her eyes at the two before looking at Lily and extending a hand.

"Hi, I'm Ashley Potter; you must be a friend of my idiotic brother and my awesome cousin."

"Exactly. Lily Evans at your service." She said laughing.

"Oh so you're the infamous Lily we hear so much about." She said smiling and nodding her head slightly, causing waves to ripple down her back.

"Err, yeah," Did everyone here know her? "I'm a little scared of exactly what you've heard of me." At this Ashley laughed, and understanding look in her eye.

"Yeah I understand the fear, but between Gemma and James, they've protected you fairly well. All we heard was your absolute best moments."

"It can't have been much, seeing how my 'absolute best moments' are rather numbered."

"Well then we must have heard the long story, which I doubt, considering the fact you're as pretty as they described."

Before Lily could come up with a proper response, James was back, leaving Gemma to fix her hair with the pools reflection.

"What did I miss?" he asked, running a hand through his, messy scalp to disarray it further.

"We were just discussing the suspected amount of chromosomes in the average 3rd generation 5 legged rhino-gooses before and after movement." Ashley responded without a moment's hesitation. James face remained blank for only a second before turning smug and excited.

"I know that know!" he said waving his hand, Ashley's calm face broke. "I asked our Care of Magical Creatures professor, he said that they have 14 before and 15 after. The muscle movement destroys one."

"You can't just lose a chromosome. " Lily said indignantly. James shoved his hands into his pockets.

"Can if you're a rhino- swan"

"Rhino-goose"

"Exactly."

Just then, A little 5 year old girl with springing dark brown hair came up to James. She waited until he turned around to face Lily to hit him in the back and scream "your it!" before jumping back. James lowly turned around to look at her, an annoyed and skeptical look in his eyes.

"Excuse me?" he asked indignantly.

The little girl looked taken aback and a little bit frightened. She rubbed her legs together. "Your it, were playing tag."

"Um not, I believe" His broke into a gin and he lunged after her. "Your It." His arms reached out to grab her and throw her in the air. He caught her and deposited her on the ground before running with the others while the little girl caught a 10 year old boy.

"He awfully good with kids, isn't he?" Lily turned at the new voice to watch a male that was easily 6 feet come up. He was also about 21, with light brown hair that dusted his white forehead and fell over his sapphire blue eyes.

"I'm Michael," he said reaching out to shake her hand "Michael Johnson, You must be Lily."

"Um, yeah, that would be me. Johnson?" Her eyebrows furrowed.

"Yeah, technically I'm not related, Nate and Izzie are my Godparents, took me in when I was about 9."

"That seems like them."

"It is, they're all very good people." He said nodding and dropping her hand. "Do you know all the people here yet?"

"No, I don't" She said a little embarrassed. He laughed, sitting down on the chair next to Ashley.

"OK, that little girl that came up to James? Her name is Joanna Collins. She's about 5." He looked around the lawn for a moment before pointing "That's Tyler, he's also one of Izzie and Nate's kids, he's 19, I think" The boy that Michael pointed to was tall and lanky. He had a mop top of blond hair and laughing brown eyes. "Over there is Morllie and Tommy, there about 9 or 10, real close, less like cousins and more like siblings, and then you already know James and Gemma, and the new little guy in the house is yet to be named, so there you have it. The Collins and the Potters."

Lily nodded, thankful, finally putting names to the people she saw. About 5 yards away to their left, Morllie, Tommy and Joanna were finally wrestling James to the ground. They pinned him down and sat on him, trying to make him stay. With a grunt James started to rise, crawling to his hands and knees. "Tyler! Tyler! He's getting away!" They all shouted, Tyler, who was starting to walk back to the house, turned around and started running towards them. "To the pool! To the pool! Don't let the prisoner get away!" he yelled at them. The kids on James back got off and started rolling him towards the pool, James struggled trying to get a hold on something, but the grass came out and the sidewalk was slippery. Finally giving up, he put a foot forward and started crawling with his head down. With yells of victory, the kids jumped back onto his back, steering him forward to his watery punishment.

Not that James was giving up that easily.

When they were a few feet away. James stopped, and did a front roll that caused the three kids to slide off his back and into the water. He landed on his back, his knees hanging over the pool, laughing evilly. But they weren't giving up that easily. Surfacing, they grabbed his legs and yanked him into the water. His grin was washed clean off his face as his legs; chest and shoulders disappeared into the water. Tyler walked up right before his arms went under; James waved them frantically before grabbing his ankle and wiping his grin off as they all plunged under.

Lily Laughed, watching James sputtering face and disbelieving eyes. Ashley was grinning hugely and Michael was pointing into Tyler's face and laughing as loud as possible. Tyler glared, meeting the eyes of Joanna, Morllie, and Tommy before jumping out of the pool to capture Michael and shove him violently into the pool. While Lily was distracted by this, James reached up, grabbed her arm, and pulled her violently in.

They tumbled under, hitting the bottom and then springing up, joined by Tyler, Tommy, Morllie, Joanna, and Michael. Ashley and Gemma sprayed water into their face by creating a huge cannon ball. They all stayed in the pool and laughed and shoved and pushed each other, soon Marcus and Nate came out and grilled hamburgers and hot dogs on the BBQ. They all ate and played on the grass again, doing wizarding games Lily had never heard off but loved. Back home, with her mom and dad and sister, Lily had always felt slightly out of place. Here, where you had to watch your back to make sure you didn't get an unexpected swim. Here, when the sun went down, they brought out piles of blankets, throwing them around in senseless piles and eventually collapsing in strange positions. Here, under the stars, with Joanna across her feet, Tyler's foot on her stomach and James sprawled above her head. Here, Lily finally felt at home.

**Kind of weird, but yeah, please review!**

**Peace**

**LIZIES**


	9. Saturday

**Chapter 9**

Lily woke up before the others. Wiggling and squirming to get out of the piles, she realized the true meaning of squished. Once she was free, she started towards the house, where she entered the kitchen and put a pot of water to boil. The house was mostly clean, but the evidence of the kids midnight snacks and wrestling matches showed. Waiting for the kettle, Lily busied herself by washing some left over dishes, sweeping a spot of the floor and wiping of the counters. She was just finishing when she heard a voice on the stairs.

"Well now, you didn't have to clean up after us."

Lily turned to meet the eyes of Julie Potter, who sat on a bar stool across from her.

"I know, but I want to. I hope you don't mind that I was making myself some tea."

"That's very sweet of you, and no, I don't mind at all. Make yourself at home"

"Thank you, would you like some?"

"No, I don't particularly like tea."

"Me either."

At this last statement, Julie's eyebrows rose, a questioning look on her face. Lily smiled slightly, taking the screaming kettle of the stove and adding it to her cup of herbs.

"Um, I- I get these… pain attacks, is what I call them. They come out of now where, it feels like I'm going to die, but at the time it doesn't sound so bad."

In an instance, Julie Potter disappeared and Dr. Potter Appeared into her place.

"Is it internal or external?"

"Both, but after the attack leaves there's no evidence of it."

"None?"

"Nothing whatsoever"

"What's your red blood cell count? Blood pressure? Bone marrow? Do your pupils dilate? "

"Um, I understood about half of that." She smiled apologetically.

"Right. Of course. What medicine are you on?"

"Some herb concoction. I got it back when they were smaller; Madame Vince thought they were anxiety attacks."

"They're not, follow me, you need something stronger. " Pushing her stool back, Julie hopped off and excited the kitchen. Lily followed her into the small hallway. She had thought that there were only 2 doors in the hall way, but now she saw that there were three. They went through the third one, into a comfortable room, with a counter, sink mirror and cabinets on one side, and a bad and window on the other. Lining the counter and Lily guessed the cabinets also, were herbs and mixtures and medical spell books.

"Marcus added this room on when we were married; we use it as an infirmary of sorts. Go ahead and sit down."

Lily took a seat on the bed; which was surprisingly soft. From there she watched Julie spring around the room, reading from this book, checks with that text, gathering from this container and mixing it with that herb.

"Well now," She said once she had a cauldron steaming on the fire. "That ought to do it. It should need to sit steam for a few days. But as soon as it's done, I'll send it to you"

"Thank you," Lily said as they walked out of the rooms and back into the big room. "You really didn't have to do that for me."

"Its fine Lily, I'm glad to help you."

By now the kitchen was full; the kids that had been sleeping when they left were now racking the cupboards for breakfast. The bedding they had slept on lay discarded on the couch.

"Hey Aunt Julie, when is Anna going to be here?" Joanna asked

"Anna?" Asked Lily as she sat down at the bar next to Gemma.

"Our cousin." Said James as he butter a piece of toast.

"Your cousin? Bloody hell, how many cousins do you have?" James smiled at that, his tongue lying on his lip.

"Not that many more," Said Gemma as she took a piece of toast from James and handed it to Lily "Just Mary and Anna. Mom was one of three daughters; Isobel, Julie and Kate. You know all of Moms and Aunt Julies kids and Aunt Kate only had two before she…."

"Before she what?" Lily asked looking from Gemma's face to James.

"Before she died."

"Oh. I'm sorry how did that happen?"

"She was murdered." James said with a disgusted look in his face. "She and her husband Trevor. It was horrible. Little Anna was only 4 and they both saw it all."

"That's horrible."

"It is. After that happened, Mom and Dad took them in without a second though. They have an uncle, Aaron, but he lives in the States, so usually they stay here."

"The States? Is that where they are now?"

"Yeah, Dads going to pick them up from the ministry later."

"The ministry?"

James nodded, pulling out another piece of toast from the toaster. "It's the only place you can use floo powder to cross over the sea."

"Oh. Is the Mary in our house in her 2nd year the Mary you're talking about?"

"Short. Brown hair, black eyes, real shy. Yeah, that's her."

"She seems nice."

"She seems scared."

Lily titled her head. "Scared?"

"You don't see your parent's death and go away completely fine Lily."

"Oh hell."

"Yeah, she was older, she remembers more. Especially the part where they tortured her dad for information first."

"That's disgusting."

"It is."

For a moment they all ate their toast in silence. Marcus came down the stairs, talked to Julie a moment and then left, Nate and Izzie came down and ate, Izzie holding the new baby. Morllie and Tommy got into a food fight that was soon stopped by Ashley who looked tired but still hauntingly beautiful.

"So what are we going to do today?" Asked Michael as he sat down and was quickly joined by Ashley

"Where did you sleep? You were with us last night but when I woke you were gone." Lily said to him

"Where were you when we woke up?" James asked.

"I came inside, I couldn't sleep." She looked back at Michael.

"That's sweet of you to notice. Half way through the night, Tommy woke me with several unconscious kicks to the stomach. I slept in the round room."'

"The round room?" Lily asked looking around at them

"Its one of the guest rooms, it's like a circle, so we call it the round room."

"One of them? How many do you have?" She looked at Ashley who held up three fingers with her mouth full of cereal.

"Three?" At her house they didn't even have one, when ever company spent the night, Lily had to give up her room and share with petunia.

"yeah," said Gemma" The round room, the blue room and the brown room."

"How many rooms does this house have exactly?"\

James paused, counting on his fingers. "9"

"9?"

Ashley nodded this time "5 on the second floor and 4 on the third. On the second is Moms and Dads room, the nursery/Baby's room, Tommy's room and Anna's and Mary's room and the blue room. One the third is mine, James and the two other guest rooms. "

Holy crap. "Anna and Mary share a room."

"They choose to" Said Michael "Originally the round room was Anna's, but they wanted to be together."

Lily nodded, that made since; sticking together would help. Sometimes there was nothing worse than being alone.

"But seriously," said Gemma "What are we going to do today?"

For the next few moments they brainstormed all the things they could do before they finally decided on a list of activities. For the rest of the day, Lily and the Potters and the Collins ran around the yard and Godric's Hallow doing whatever strange or nonsense activities that came to mind. Lily pulled out her camera and grabbed snapshots of everything that happened. When darkness fell, they made a huge bed in the living room popped popcorn, got Wizarding snacks and watched Muggle and Magic shows alike. Around 9, the younger kids had to go to bed and around 1 in the morning the parents put their foot down and made the rest of them go upstairs. Lily and Gemma wiped off the blankets the best they could before collapsing on them.

Lily awoke some time later that night. She thought she heard the door slam and, as usual, curiosity got the better of her and she crept outside. Walking along the path to the garden hidden behind the pool, Lily looked up at the stars. They were magnificent, with so little light coming from the house and village, stars that were so rarely shown beamed into the sky. The Milky Way, a pooling lake across the sky, was clearer than if it had been highlighted. She stared up at it and some many other small beams of light; because of this she didn't even notice the figure in the garden with her until she ran into them.

"Oh, "She let out a shaky breath. "Hey James."

**That's it for now. Please review!**

**LIZIES**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"Hey James"

He looked over quickly, as if he hadn't noticed her either. His face was soft, strangely vulnerable, without any of the usual cockiness.

"Hi." He breathed the word, his face held a shocking confusion. Lily looked away; the way he looked at her was unsettling

"Orion is high tonight." He said after a moment of them looking wordlessly up at the stars.

"Yeah" she murmured, her eyes not leaving the sky. She hadn't appreciated stars in a long time. Hadn't just stood and looked because she wanted to, not since…..

"The full moon is tonight." She realized, seeing the light appear on the horizon. James winced "I know" He looked sick and regretful. She sat down, after a moment he came over and sat on the cobbled stone with her. They were silent. Lily hated the quiet, at least she did when the stars were out, astronomy wasn't her worst subject because she sucked at it, but because she couldn't stand to look at the stars. It was always the favorite past time, one that now burned….

"You know," James said, twirling a flower he had picked in his fingers. "I always thought that you would love Astronomy, it seems like a class you would like. But for some reason, you get your worst grade there." He said this all politely, not like a question, but more of a friendly and concerned observation.

Usually, no matter how kind the words, any talk that directly remind her of the…. Incident was shunned. The conversation stopped. The change of subject immediate. But this time, this time Lily felt something else. Something like the way she could tell Gemma about the pain attacks, the way she could rely on Sev for wizard information without judgment, she could trust James with this secret.

"Her name was Constance."

A wind came from the west, ruffling the petals and shaking leaves. An icy chill settled over them with the mention of the dead.

"I killed her."

The confession was bleak; Lily had nothing to hide behind. Reason to hide but nothing to shelter her. James eyes widened, the full moon reflecting and magnifying the shock.

"Who?"

"Constance, my sister" The words felt wrong on her tongue, they didn't belong, this was one of the things best left unsaid. "She was older than me. She would be Ashley's age by now."

Lily looked away, staring into a bushel of flowers. She would be, yes, _would _being the operative word.

"What happened?" His voice was strangely calm, like a piercing light in the darkness.

"I was 11. When I first got my letter, I was happy, so amazingly happy. I wasn't insane, I wasn't sick I wasn't dying of some paranormal dieses that made me do the magic I could. Even better, I was going to others who were just like me.

"You don't know what it's like James, you, who grew up with people doing magic, watching Quidditch, and seeing magic. Never once did you wonder if it was real. I did. All the time, I was so scared, afraid to tell my family, my sister Petunia saw some of it, her reaction should have been enough. I was such an idiot."

James didn't say anything, just waited for her to continue.

"When I got my letter, it was even better than Severus telling me what was going on. I was finding out myself. The piece of paper was real, 3-D proof that all of my dreams were true...

Sadly, my sisters didn't share that with me.

Petunias reaction was the easiest. She tried to get in, when she couldn't she hated me, a "freak" she said. But it was nothing compared to Constance, Petunia didn't like having a Freak for a sister, and Constance refused to. We fought _all the time. "_

Images flashed through her head, much like the pain attacks and just as pain full. She remembered all of the things that were said, the actions committed, and finally….

"I didn't mean to." Tears spilled out on her cheeks, blurry her image of James putting an arm around her shoulders.

"Of course you didn't. What happened?"

"We were arguing, again, one night, when she said she was leaving. She was seventeen, almost eighteen she said her plan was to drive, just drive away from me, and come back when I was gone before leaving forever. She said she never wanted to see me again. My parents tried to talk her out of it, her peers and friends, but she refused to stay. When she was storming out, I went out after her, it was my fault, and I felt as though I should fix it. Great lot of good that did.

When I caught up to her, she was putting her bags in the car, her back to the street. I reached out to grab her hand and she jerked back, totally and completely…" Lily searched for a word strong enough to describe it. "Disgusted, appalled, shocked, horrified, that I would actually touch her. She jumped away, back into the street, right as a moving van drove by. It didn't kill her instantly…."

Lily voice broke again, fingers rocking, lips trembling, throat burned with the words so long left unspoken. She remembered it all so well, the horn of the car, the look on Constance's face, the vibration that seemed to emanate from the earth, and that scream which pireced through the air and left a scar through the night sky.

"It didn't kill her instantly, she suffered first, she was in the hospital, bleeding from everywhere, so many doctors hustling around her. My family crowded in, talking to her, trying to comfort her, it was working until I took her hand. Her heartbeat all but exploded, and she ripped her hand away with enough force to dislocate her arm from her socket. She yelled to not let the freak touch her, not to let me touch her ever again. And then she died."

With that last word, the wind blew again, carrying Constance's scream on it's back.

James arms turned cold, Lily expression turned painfully thoughtful.

"When she ripped away, Some of her blood flew on me, I literally had her blood on my hands, I did then and I always will."

James listened without a sound, her words painting morbidly realistic images in his head, finally, after several moments in silence. He shook his head.

"No, you didn't kill her, she killed herself. If she was stupid enough to look at you and see something anything less then the wonderful and amazing person you are, then she wasn't worth the turmoil this gives you."

His words lifted her slightly, but not enough to fill the horrible hole in her chest.

"She always loved the night."

The two sat there, holding each other and wondering, thinking, discovering and remembering, Watching the stars. Each filled with their on thoughts, but all thoughts pertaining to the other.

The end. Some Lily-James fluffiness there at the end. But whatever. Hope you like it please review!

LIZIES


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

The next day, they all were sitting around the Potter living room. Ashley and Michael were sitting together at the bar, looking at a work schedule and a map that made no since to Lily, the adults were sitting on the various couches, next to James, Gemma, Tyler, and Lily, who was holding the baby. Morllie, Tommy Joanna, and Anna were lounged on the floor playing some type of board games. Anna was one of the most adorable 6 year old girls that Lily had ever seen; she had fallen in love with her immediately. Anna had soft brown hair that fell past her frail little shoulders and sported her hot chocolate colored eyes. Her two front teeth were missing giving her a slight lisp along with her broad cheek bones and freckled nose and bridge.

Her parents death certainly had affected her though, she still flinched at screams, of joy or not, and she couldn't stand to be around any green lights. That was enough to break Lily's heart; no child should have to go through that.

"But it was like, different, and I was like, um sure, whatever, but I really didn't have a clue what she was talking about. And then she looked at me totally pissed off. And I was like, what the crap?" Tyler said, his leg hung over the armrest as he spotted off about his girl problems. James was looking sympathetically at him while Gemma was rolling her eyes and glaring.

"You are such a man-whore"

Tyler looked offened " I am not a man whore, hell, where did you get that from?"

"Girls are people, Ty."

"Shocker" James said, his eyes sparking.

Gemma settled in to her seat, hair tossed backwards and eyes fixing on his face. "We're better than a certain idiotic YOU"

"You guys are so mean to each other," Lily said rocking the baby slightly to settle him "it's actually really funny."

"Isn't?" Julie said sliding over on the couch to pull the baby's blanket down and look at his face,

"He's a good looking little guy"

"He is, thank you. We have got to name him" She added turning to Marcus

"OK," He rubbed his hands together." How about…. Cory?"

"Oh please no," Lily said, "One of my sisters boyfriends was named Cory, he cheated on her and then dumped her without a second glance."

"He sounds like a jerk." James said

"Sounds like a _Man_"

"Ouch Gemma-bear, didn't know you hated us all so much"

"I don't dad, just James."

"How about…" Izzie stood up and went to look at the baby who was still Lily's arms. "Jared or even Carl."

Various people around the rooms shook their heads at this one.

James sighed "I think I might love you enough to let you name him Harry."

"You might love us enough?" Marcus said

"Yeah" he winced, "Maybe, Harry's my name, and I'm going to name my kid that."

"Harry," Lily mused, "Harry Potter, had a nice ring to it.

"Heck yeah."

"Back to this baby, "said Nate. "Although I hate to diverted your attention from a kid who doesn't even exist yet."

"How about Riley?" Mary said as she walked down the stairs.

"Sure, "James said with a stupid look on his face. "Lets give him a name starting with an I for his middle name and his initials will spell R.I.P."

Mary sat down by Lily, smacking James on her way down.

"We don't want his initials to spell something ridiculous, although you do have an ancestor with an 'I' name, what was his name Marcus?"

Marcus opened his mouth but before he said anything, Tyler butt in "I know! We'll call him Tyler!"

"We don't want to curse the kid, Ty" James said with a smile

"We won't, well promise him greatness."

"What about Shawn?" Izzie asked.

"Connor?"

"Kyle?"

"Parley?"

They tossed names around like footballs for a few moments. Eliminating and arguing over some considering others before blowing them out.

"How about Andrew." Lily basically whispered, so low that only Julie heard her.

"What?" Julie asked, everyone stopped to look at her. Lily shifted herself and the baby until she was holding him forward so that she and the others could see him better.

"Andrew…. Andrew Potter."She turned her head to look at him better "Andrew Marcus Potter." Finally, she took her eyes away from the baby….

… Only to meet the stares of everyone else in the room.

"What?" She asked slightly alarmed.

"That's perfect" James said, Tyler nodded in agreement.

"It is," Marcus said nodding "But that Marcus part…."

"Fits. It all does, him the name, all of it. It's perfect. Thank you Lily."

She hugged her and when they broke apart Julie took the baby.

"Hmmmm, AMP, no immediate abbreviations come to mind. All though it sounds like an amp, like a guitar amp, nothing wrong with that." Tyler said grinning

"Nothing at all," Izzie said suddenly looking very tired.

"So did we find Baby a name?" Michael asked walking up with Ashley close behind him.

"Gemma looked up at them "Andrew Marcus Potter."

"Bloody hell that's perfect for this kid, who picked it?"

"Lily did"

He looked at her, "Good job then."  
She shrugged, feeling tired. A thought suddenly struck her.

"When are we going back to Hogwarts?"

James opened his mouth and then closed it, suddenly realizing that he had no idea. "I don't know. How wrong is that?"

Lily ignored this last statement. "Can I use your owl? Mine stayed at Hogwarts."

"Yes of course. "Said Julie "he should be around here somewhere."

Lily stood up to walk over to the open window above the kitchen sink. She stood next to it and looked out, scanning the ground and horizon for the owl. The wind blew her auburn tendrils in a sea behind her back and the sun featured gently on her creamy skin, causing her being to glow softly. She didn't notice, but James certainly did.

Finally, she spotted him, flying in from the northwest, low snowy wings out stretched and free. He dipped lower, losing altitude until he landed lightly on the windowsill. Resting in his beck was an envelope from Hogwarts, cream parchment with the school sign.

_Gemma, Mary, Lily and James,_

_The Living room, _

_Potter Residents_

_Godrics Hollow_

This didn't surprise Lily what so ever. It seemed to a habit that whenever she was going to write to Hogwarts, they also wrote seconds before.

"Lily is that a letter from School?"

"Um, yeah, "She turned around, picking up the envelope "It is." She walked swiftly back over to the couch, sitting back down besides Mary and handing Gemma the letter. Gemma opened it with a swift motion of her nail. She produced a parchment which she unfolded and quickly scanned her eyes over. While she was doing this, Lily turned to Ashley.

"What's that map on the bar of?"

"Oh, it's of the Norwegian forest."

"Norwegian?"

"Yes, Michael and I are going through it next month."

Lily lifted her eyebrows.

"In the heart of it is one of the most famous and best schools for care of magical creatures ever. IN located in one of the biggest reservations without any wizarding or muggle changes. There's still every kind of animal imaginable there. It's the Magical creature Caretaker dream location. Getting there is a huge test on its own."

"You're going to be a Magical Creature Caretaker?" Lily didn't know why this was so shocking to her, Ashley seemed perfect for it.

"Yep, me and Michael are gonna be the best."

"Or something like that" Michael said smiling.

"Ok," Gemma said finishing the letter "they're going to open the floo network to the Gryffindor common room; we need to be there at 4 p.m. tonight." She looked over at the clock on the wall. "Its 2:30 now, we should get packed soon. " The others nodded, frowning a little at the thought of leaving.

It happened in the cellar.

Lily had swung down there at around 3:40 to get a can of corn for Julie and Izzie. The Potter cellar was below the house, through a door under the staircase. Lily had gone through it, hit the light switch and swept down the stairs. Not paying attention, she continued to skip down the stairs. She stood next to the shelf of cans, turned a few around before finding the right one. She picked it up and started to head back up the stairs.

A clutching pain in her chest started, her eyes rolled back and she fell forward. A searing, burning heat surged from the flesh above her heart and dominated her body, causing major explosions through her veins and cells. Leaving a black trail of burning wreckage behind it.

The images were back, new and old, dead, buried, young and inexperienced. Car crashes, mass murders, darkness, tears, the glint of a blade in the dark, blood running off bruised skin, tired cutting through pavement, a lone figure appearing from dust, a single tower glowing with an eerie light, things Lily couldn't recognize, things she could think about, things she'd already seen….

Pain, heartache, agony, depression, betrayal, finality, guilt, so much that now death did seem a blessing.

High pitched laughs, axes chopping down, sirens piercing the night, profanity, engines, coding heart rates, racking sobs, and a lone scream from a girl facing the headlights of a car…..

Lily snapped together with an audible pop. Shock ran through her, images and sounds and emotions replaying like a broken record through her damaged soul.

The searing pain over her heart hadn't gone away. Dulled, but not vanished, she moved a hand, a slight weight falling off of it, she slid her fingers down her shirt and felt a strange thread like shape an inch above her heart. With her other trembling hand, she undid the top to buttons of her blouse, took a deep breath and looked above her at the shape her fingers had felt.

It was like a tattoo almost, the shaped of a black spindly spider. It was a good 6 centimeters long, protruding legs stretching in a gothic yoga. She took another deep breath, the spider moving slightly with the rise of her chest. A drop of water fell on him, running down his spider anatomy. Lily was confused where it came from until more fell from her cheeks.

She moved, pain shooting through her body again, she glanced over and saw a paper on the ground. Remembering the weight on the fingers she picked it up, stood turned it over and looked at the writing through the pale light of the cellar.

_The worst is yet to come_

**please review**

**LIZIES**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Chilly mid-October air met them on their return to Hogwarts. They went up to their dorms, dropped off their bags, settled in and then went to meet their other Gryffindor friends in the common room.

Except for Lily.

She leaped up the stairs into her room, flung the bag on the floor in between her and Gemma's bed and then ran from the tower to find Severus.

It took her longer then she had expected. He wasn't in the library, or the grounds, or the great hall with some other students who were snitching a snack. He wasn't anywhere else Lily could think to look, with a final sigh of desperation; she decided to check the dungeons one more time before giving up. She walked down the corridors, humanlike claws gripping candlesticks that lit the way. Lily had never liked it down here, dark and musty and silent in all the wrong ways.

"No, you know the plan, just stick to it, you know what Greyback said-"

Avery, Mulciber, and Snape rounded the corner just then. Avery, who was talking shut his mouth with an audible snap before realizing who it was and glaring smugly.

"Ahh, look who it is." He drawled, his plastic voice dripping with wanna-be venom. Snape's excited look that had formed when they saw her faded.

"A little snack sent up for us, eh?" Mulciber said with a snicker.

"That may be true, considering how that's the only good thing Muggle's and their pitiful offspring are good for."

"That's where you're wrong Avery; they're not good for anything." Lily's eyes narrowed, although she didn't allow herself to get worked up from idiots like this.

"I have to admit, I'm slightly impressed that you had the attention span to complete that sentence. Usually you falter and roll your tongue out like some poor disabled puppy with a needle up its arse."

Avery wiped his wand out, glaring at her offenedly and with a strange madman like glint in his eye. Mulicber didn't even bother with a wand, in two pissed off slides, he was in front of her, pressing her against the wall, his hand on her throat his mouth by her ear.

"Listen you Mud blood, it's about time you learn your place." Mulciber hissed, his hand tightening.

"Hey, cool it mate, you know what will happen if you do." Despite Snapes cool words, his eyes and face betrayed his fear for his best friend.

Mulciber's hand clawed again before releasing and shoving away. Despite Lily's best efforts, she gasped in an effort to fill her lungs and slid to the ground.

"Your lucky this time Mud Blood," He said looking down at her. "If I didn't have more important and promising things to deal with than you, your windpipe would be in pieces." With that he turned his long robes winding behind him and stormed through the wall that lead to the Slytherin Common room, Avery following.

The stone wall slide back in place, Snape waited until it snapped shut to walk over to Lily.

"You really shouldn't do that Lily, "He said sitting next to her. "He could honestly hurt you."

"I don't care, it's worth it."

Snape sighed, His fingers reaching to her neck to inspect the damage. He prodded and pushed for a few moments, his cool fingers felt good on her neck.

"It'll bruise." He said leaning back.

"Yay! Another battle scar." She said sarcastically, noticing how Snapes face framed into a nice half smile. The left side of his mouth pulled up slightly showing some of his teeth. His smile mainly showed in his eyes, a small twinge of light.

This is why others didn't like him, not one else really saw him but her.

"Well, "He said "You don't usually go walking around the dungeons, so unless you are possible transferring to Slytherin, which I highly, highly doubt, you must have been looking for me."

Lily laughed. "I was, but not let it go to your head; soon you'll be as arrogant as Potter."

"I'll never be anything like Potter. Want to go for a walk?"

She laughed again at his disgusted tone before accepting his hand to pull her to her feet.

They walked around the castle grounds, skirting around the forbidden forest, mazing through the greenhouses, they stopped every once in a while, to talk, look at something or share a joke. They ended up at the lake, leaning against the tree where they had once planned before the surprise holiday. Lily pushed her jeans up to her thighs, basking in the last warmth of the year. Severus didn't act as carefree and light as she did. This year he had seemed to be tense a lot, to flinch at every noise, sometimes he stuttered, which had brought the Marauders much joy.

She hoped this didn't have anything to do with his right arm…

"What did you do over the weekend?" she asked shifting her gaze from the lake back to Severus. He flinched, not looking her in the eye.

"Oh, you know. The usual Snape family tradition."

There was a ring of bitterness in his voice; Lily didn't know what exactly that meant, but she was sure she didn't want to.

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok, what did you do?"

Lily shrugged it off, knowing he would not like the idea of her spending the weekend at the Potters at all.

Sev nodded, twisting a blade of grass in between his fingers. They sat in silence for a few moments, watching the giant squid reach up and break the water serene mirror.

"Sev?" She asked without looking away from the lake.

"Yeah?" He didn't look at her either.

"What... What do you know about magic tattoos?" Now he did look at her, shock, disbelief and confusion the main emotions in his face. He pushed himself up.

"Magic tattoos?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah."

He sat up completely; folding his legs underneath him. The silence was awkward and tense now, after what seemed like an eternity, he looked back at her.

"What about them?"

"How do they form?"

"A witch or wizard places it there."

"Through a potion? Spell?"

"Spell, the bigger the tattoo the bigger the spell."

"Is it possible from a distance?"

"No, the wand has to touch the flesh where the tattoo will go."

"oh." Well that almost no help whatsoever, Lily thought. But on the other hand, know she knew that it wasn't normal, even for a wizard, not that she was confused.

"Are their spells that cause witches or wizards to see things?"

"Of course." His blunt answer surprised her. "We've been learning about them. Communication Spells; so only work to the people their implied to."

That made sense. But whatever these pain attacks were, they were not a form of Communication spells.

Where they?

"Sev?" She asked, any composure she had was lost as she shot up to sit next to him. "Is it possible for… like… someone to be able to perform a communication spell on someone without being around them? Like, just starting it and then have them slowly get worse?"

Severus thought about it for several seconds, his eyebrows furrowed, lips pursed. Lily held her breath, finally he shook his head.

"No, not a chance. For them to get worse, the witch or wizard who set the spell would have to be there. You know, like a Hex, only possible through eye contact. And, if they change, they should get better because it's wearing off. "

Dammit. SO long for that theory.

"What makes you ask?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing, just curious." Now time for her question. "How do you know so much about it?"

"Well, we learned about eye contact a few years ago, and communication spells in the last week. No biggie. Come on, it's getting dark, let's go in." They did. Traveling through the Entrance Hall and staircases up to the Gryffindor Tower. Severus made a mock bow; Lily pushed him, laughing the entire way.

"Night Lily," he said turning to the staircase,

"Night, Sev."

With that she climbed into the portrait hole, and walked up the stairs. She chatted with Adrian, Gemma and Michelle about their weekend, got into her pajamas, and climbed into bed.

Snape had been rather slick, completely avoiding her question about how he knew. He actually did a good job covering it up. Almost.

Something was coming. She was back to square one with her attacks, and something was going on with Sev. Something dark. What scared her almost to tears was that she was pretty certain that he was a miniature death eater, helping Voldemort into the castle. Something was coming

And she had a feeling Sev had a part in it.

That's the end of that chapter, the end is a little weird, but I wanted to show how Lily/Sev relationship was. And a favor: if your reading this REVIEW, seriously, I don't care if you just write 'me', I really want to know who's reading this so I know if I should continue.

Thanks bunches

LIZIES


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

The next few weeks passed quickly for Lily. She studied, went to classes, hung out with Gemma and occasionally James, and tried desperately to figure out what was forming on her chest.

About two weeks after they got back, Lily walked into the great hall and searched for Gemma, not seeing her, she decided to sit by James until she came in. It was odd really, she though as she slipped in next to him, Gemma usually got down here before her, plus, she hadn't been upstairs when she had had her attack.

It was the searing, painful, burning unexpected flash; Lily had looked at the clock, saw that it was a little after 8, and then went to leave before collapsing. The attacks were getting more common, at least one a day. Even worse, her tattoo seemed to _grow…_

Not only in length. Although a good half a centimeter had been added on both sides, a strange weaving pattern that seemed to emanate from underneath the spider also appeared. It was like a curving octagon, quicky pushing out and expanding, almost like a spider web…

"Want an apple?" James asked through a full mouth, holding up the large red fruit to her.

"Sure" she said taking it from him and gathering food to her plate. "But I can hardly even eat it now after you and Tyler-"

"That was awesome"

"I had Apple juice in every crevasse of my body"

"I could have helped you get it off" he wiggled his eyebrows

"That's an offer I'll very gladly pass up, Thank you very much."

Lily reached across the table to take the salt from where it laid next to Sirius's plate.

"Do you mind if I…"

She trailed off at his and Remus expression. Their mouths where full, various breakfast foods hanging out. Their eyes darted back and forth between Lily and James. James smiled.

"Oh yeah," James said sling an arm around her shoulder. "me and Lily-flower here got awfully close over surprise weekend" He turned his face into her neck in an effort to kiss her for a split second before Lily pushed him away with enough strength to push him off the bench entirely.

"Hey!" he said as he sat back up off the floor where several people where looking at him. "We did!"

"Not like that," She said buttering a piece of toast, "nothing like that, the closest we got is that I can stand to actually look at you now."

"That's a good improvement." He smiled, showing all his teeth.

Lily rolled her eyes and looked up just in time to see Gemma run into the hall, see her, rush over, grab her hand and pulled her into the entrance hall. Lily stumbled behind her, tripping over herself until Gemma pulled them to a stop near the staircases.

"What? What is it?" She asked nervously. She had never seen Gemma like this before; she looked terrified, excited and exuberant at the same time.

"He asked me out!" She squealed grabbing Lily's hands and jumping up and down.

"Who?" She asked although she thought she already knew

"Ty!" Lily squealed to, jumping up and down.

"When?" She asked when they had calmed down enough to breathe normally

"Tonight, 7:45 or so, he said he'd pick me up from my dorm then." Lily smiled, this was good for Gemma, and she needed something like this, a break from worrying about Lily. She hugged Gemma again, twirling them around.

"Excuse me ladies, but we do have classes to get to." Sirius pointed out from where he, James, Remus and peter where standing. Lily rolled her eyes. "Fine"

The rest of the day seemed to take extra long. Although Gemma didn't stop smiling the entire d, Lily noticed that she to occasionally glance at the clock. At last, 6:30 came and the girls where in the bathroom connected to their dorms. Brushes, combs, hair scrunches, lipsticks and other various make-ups litter the table and floor.

"Do you know what you're wearing?" Lily asked, she and Gemma had discussed most of the day, narrowing down their wardrobes into 2 different options.

"I think I'll go with the teal dress and black sweater, it seems most appropriate." She said, Lily nodded she had hoped she would pick that one. Lily moved onto her make-up, keeping her outfit in mind. When she was done, they went into the dorm and picked out shoes and accessories.

"You look perfect." Lily said at Gemma, looking her over at 7:40. Gemma was wearing a teal dress that ended in ruffles around her knees; her black sweater was low around the shoulders, showing the dresses thick straps. Her blonde curled framed her face and fell behind her back, Lily's favorite green necklace shined at her throat, black heels made little clip clop sounds as she walked across the room to check her make up in the mirror.

"Really, Gemma, you'll knock his socks off."

"Definitely." Michelle agreed as she and Adrian walked into the room. They looked at her. "Good, you wore that dress."

"I thought it was better." Gemma said

"There both amazing, but his shirt is green and will match this one way better."

"You saw him?"

"Yeah, when we were coming up he walked out of his dorm, one of his buddies called him back in for something though. He'll be here soon."

Gemma took a deep breath. "I can't believe this is actually happening." She looked as though she would pass out from happiness.

A knock on the door made everyone jump a little. Gemma made no move to answer, nervousness creeping up on her face. So Lily did. She bounced off the bed where she was sitting, walked over to the door, and opened it.

Ty Michaels was standing there, looking as nervous as Gemma did. His shirt was a nice shade of green, tucked into brown pants.

"Hey, is Gemma there?" he asked, saying her name reverently.

"Yeah, hold on." Leaving the door open, she skipped over to Gemma and pulled her to the door. Ty looked like he stopped breathing all together. His eyes roamed over her body, not in the creepy undressing with his eyes way, but more like happy, soaking it all in way.

"You- You look amazing." He said to her blush.

"Thank you." She said smiling still.

"Um- You ready to go?" He asked, holding out his arm.

"Yeah, of course" She took his hand, picked her purse off of the table near the door and then left the room by his side." That door closed and the three girls waited for the sounds of footsteps to fade before speaking.

"OMG THEY ARE SOOOOO CUTE TOGETHER!" Michelle yelled at the top of her lungs, putting her hands over her mouth when she realized how loud it was.

"I know right!" Adrian squealed.

Lily laughed running and jumping around the room with the other girls.

"So, you and Potter snogging yet?" Michelle asked when they were sitting in a circle on the floor.

"What? No, of course not. What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about."

"I do not. I don't even like him like that."

"It's ok if your crushing on the Marauders, at least they know you exist." Adrian said with a frown.

"Your-"Lily looked at her "You're crushing on the Marauders?"

She nodded, a blush creeping up her face. "Yeah, on Sirius Black."

Lily leaned against the bed frame, letting this sink in. That made sense; it was just… weird somehow.

"You know what we need," Michelle said "chocolate."

Adrian nodded," yeah, sense were dateless, we might as well have a party here."

"I like this plan." Lily said

"Yeah, "Michelle frowned suddenly "it 'barely 8, but it will have to be just us, considering the agents and all…"

"Speaking of agents where's Declan?" Adrian asked

"Oh, he's helping reinforce some of the charms around the lake, he checked with us when we got here, you guys were late."

"Hmmm." Adrian mused "That makes sense. So chocolate. And pumpkin juice and a lot of other sugary stuff from the kitchen."

"Let's go." Michelle said standing up.

"You guys go ahead, hurry back." Lily said heading to the bathroom."I'll wait up here."

"K, see you in a second." Michelle and Adrian left the dorm, laughing down the stairs. Lily opened the bathroom door, and started picking up floor.

It started as usual, nothing and then a flashing burn of everything at once. Her head was on fire, organs were being squished, lungs pressed together until no air could loosen them. She collapsed to the floor, conscience blinking on and off but the pain staying no matter. After what felt like an eternity but realistically was only a few agonizing moments, Lily woke up to stare at the bathroom ceiling.

As it had before, the pain on her chest did not subside. She groped up, her weak fingers trying to grasp the cold cabinet. She grabbed a small notch and pulled, her body screaming at every possible movement. Her legs couldn't support her; she fell against the counter, pushing her body to stand up. She reached up with her trembling fingers, her numb skin failing to capture the concept of undoing her button. Finally, she released the first three, with the back of her aching hand; she pushed her shirt of off her heart.

The spider tattoo and web were still there, only bigger. The scaling tentacles of the web were scalding up her. The edge of them was passing her collarbone on one side reaching to her shoulder on the other.

The dorm room burst open, Michelle and Adrian racing in, trays of pastries in their hands. They were laughing, completely carefree, completely unaware of her racing heart and slipping sanity.

"Lily?" Adrian called "Lily, are you alright?"

"Yeah." She called out, working to make her voice stand strong. "I'll be right out."

She stepped out a few minutes later, not able to push the tattoo out of her mind; she headed directly to her closet, worried they might see it.

Lily wore a closed neck shirt that night.

**Kind of creepy huh, please review**

**LIZIES**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Lily waited up for Gemma that night. After Michelle and Adrian had collapsed surrounded by pie crust and empty cans, she pulled out her favorite book "Where all your fears live", and leaned against the bed frame.

She tried to ignore the slight throbbing pain on her chest.

Lily turned the page, poking some leftover gelatin with her foot. By the time 10:45 came around, Lily was trying to decided if she was more worried that Gemma might break curfew, or more happy that Gemma might break curfew.

She smiled slightly, turning the page again and feeling the bends and rips in the old paperback.

A small continuous thudding reminded her of the Tattoo on her chest. From time to time, a slight burning sensation would run across the stitches like surface. Almost as if it was realizing that she was beginning to forget about it.

Would she ever, _ever_, figure out what this was? How much worse would it get before she did, if ever? The attacks were getting worse, not only pain wise, but also more frequently. They've come from a one ever few days, to at least one every 12 hours. Every day at 8:04.

She sighed, putting her book face down on the floor and pulling her shirt down to stare at the tattoo. It hadn't seemed to change at all except for in size. Sickly, long and lanky. What could it be? What did it represent? She had yet to gather the courage to ask one of the teachers, although she thought that they could help. She continued to stare down at the spider. Tracing the long legs with her finger tip. She led her nail to the edge of one of the top legs before letting her finger drop back. Now staring at the spider in horror, oh hell, did it really just _move_?

The door opened and a flushed looking Gemma stepped in. Lily let go of her neck line, letting the shirt snap back into place. She looked over to Gemma as she stood up; trying to smile at her friends beaming yet tired face.

"So? How'd it go?" Lily pushed herself up onto the bed behind her, watching as her friend walked over to sit by her, the smile of her face never leaving.

"Amazing." She all but breathed the word. Lily waited for more; it didn't come.

"Ok. Any specifics?" At that moment Gemma seemed to snap out of her revive; she shifted on the need so that she could hold Lily's hands as she gushed;

"It was absolutely perfect! He took me to the lake where he had the most adorable little table on the dock. Ty pulled out my chair for me and everything. He had these two house elves that served us, and not by magic either, they hauled them and they were in the cutest little outfits. We eat all of my favorites, I don't know how he knew exactly what I liked and what I hated but he did. We just talked and laughed and I doubt I've ever had more fun on a date than I have with him!" lily laughed at her friends good fortunes, glad that Gemma finally was having some fun.

"And then we just walked around the outsides of the castle, we lay down on the grass in the Quidditch pitch, and just held hands and watched the stars come out." Her voice was soft now, her caramel eyes looking back. "It was strange, most guys would want… more, after they set up a date like that. By he just held my hand and lay as close to me as possible. Every once in a while, I would look over to him and he would just be staring at me and then he would look back at the stars. Once he said my name, so I looked over at him, he was looking at me with the most tender look in his eyes, all he said was 'thank you' and then I said 'for what' and he said for everything, for coming, for laughing, for existing."

Tears of happiness were now starting to pool over Gemma's eyes. Lily smiled, lifting her shoulder to hug Gemma.

"This is all too perfect,' Gemma said "I keep thinking I'm going to wake up and find this all a dream."

Lily laughed again "Don't worry; it's not at all a dream." A burning feel raced along the lines of her Tattoo, and Lily had the surest feeling that it was real.

XxXxXxX

The next morning, Lily woke up late, she rolled over and looked at the clock; 8:02. She stared at it for a moment, tying to remember the significant of the time. 8:03. what was important about it? Something, big… something painful…

SHIT

Lily jumped up and tore across the room, there was no way that she could stop the attack from coming like it always did, but she didn't want it to be in front of her roomies. She bounded across the elf-cleaned floor.

"Lily, are you ok?" Asked Adrian from across the room where she was picking up her homework.

"Oh yeah I'm fine." She replied quickly, diving into the bathroom, thanking heaven that no one was in there.

This was never going to work, she thought as she locked the bathroom door and paced, waiting for the pain. This was never, ever going to work, every morning and night was she supposes to hide this from her friends? From the whole school? What would happen when they had some project that happened at dusk? Trapping her attack in front of the entire 5th year class? What would she say? What would she do? More importantly, what would they do?

Like a gun shoot, the pain exploded and tore apart her essence. The sheer force of it caused her to double over, the expected shock throwing her body into defense mode. She was slightly aware of her gag reflex spewing everything she had eaten for days onto the floor. A million and one horrifying sensations covered her mind and body. Spiders and snakes and scorpions crawling and feasting on her skin. In the distance, a child's scream, a trains shriek, a killing curse shouted, a trigger being pressed. Images danced and paraded in front of her, driving out all sanity. Blood, death, crowded cemeteries, knives slicing skin, the dark mark radiating in the clouded sky, a pair of snake like eyes staring at her through the mist.

A sob retched out of her, tears leaving scars across her cheeks. She shuddered, and the majority cleared away. She laid on the floor, hearing Adrian's pounds on the door and calls for her to answer. The force to open her eyes was explosive, but to close them was a visit to the horrors she just escaped. After several pain serving moments, she mustered the strength to crawl against the counter, pushing herself up to look at herself in the mirror.

More tears trended down her cheeks, she didn't need to pull her shirt down to look at her Tattoo this time, and she could see it all ready. The tentacles of the web had stretched up, past her collarbone where they were before, up her neck and almost to her ear. She prayed that a turtle neck shirt would cover it all. She sobbed again, her entire body shaking.

What would she do?

**Hey! Thanks for reading, it was a miracle I could get this one posted today, I wasn't expected to. Anyway, happy 4****th**** of July, and I won't even be near a computer for days so please be patient. And please please PLEASE review**

**LIZIES**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

**Hey! Sorry it took so long to review, first there was the 4****th**** celebration and then I ended up getting to go to this place that I've been trying to go to since school ended, then I got home and our computer broke for over a month…but Please review! **

Lily POV

On October 30th Lily woke up at 8. Her attack would come soon, with one problem; how in the world was she suppose to get from her bed all the way over to the bathroom on the exact other side of the room without getting seen? She pulled the collar of her shirt down to look at her tat.

"So Arameao," She said looking at the creature. "How are we going to do this. " Arameao seemed to be a good name for him; Araneae was the technical term for a spider after all. But Araneae seemed too feminine for him; Arameao sounded much better, maybe Ataneao…..

_I officially lost it_ She thought to her pulling her shirt back up. _I'm naming my creepy-psycho extreme dark magic spider tattoo... _

Definitely Arameao.

"Lily are you awake yet?" Michelle asked from behind the curtain.

"Yeah, you guys are so loud." Michelle and Adrian chuckled. She said sitting up and pulling her hair out to cover her face. She ran her fingers through a few strands to make sure they covered the entire web.

"Is Gemma awake yet?" She asked when inspiration struck her, she cautiously pulling back her curtain and stepped out.

"No, what time did she get back last night?" Adrian asked from where she and Michelle were going through their closet.

"Um…." Lily got up and walked around the room to peer in Gemmas bed, a fabulous way to make her hiding her tattoo look natural. "She got back a little before 11, but we stayed up until 1 or so." She pulled back Gemmas curtain and looked at her. She changed into her pajamas, wiped of all her makeup. But the vanity less Gemma was just as beautiful. She was smiling in her sleep. Thoughts of Ty, Lily guessed. She closed the curtains and walked to the bathroom, the left side of her face that carried her tat completely hidden from Michelle and Adrian the whole time.

Once in the bathroom, Lily brushed her hair back and pulled her shirt down to see her tattoo better. It all seemed to have grown; Arameao was now stretching across 2 inches over her heart. His ghastly web now reaching from her ear to her belly button.

Lily reached into one of the drawers in the bathroom cabinets; she shifted through various brushes and curlers until she found several canisters of cover up. This had been one of the things she had considered to help her keep this whole thing a secret. Lily open the lid and began to paint over her tattoo.

The attack reached her moments after she started. She fell to the ground, everything in her hand flying out.

Images, sounds and disconnected movements jarred through her. They were unfamiliar; Lily couldn't find the memory of the last time she had seen these sites or heard the noises that flashed and burned. Her entire body was moving, trying to hold still hurt almost as bad as moving did. She was no longer her, not herself, but not another either. Someone else was moving the finger tips and thrashing the arms.

As before, a sucking sound cleared it all away. Lily moved her dragged her head slowly back and forth in an effort to regain control. She was lying on the bathroom floor, her head in between the cabinets and the toilet, her foot was in the bathtub and one of her hands were caught on the open door of the cupboard under the sink. She pulled herself up, slowly, painfully, her entire body screaming in protest. Leaning once again against the counter for support, she looked at her reflection.

The web had expanded, before it only reached her ear while it now cut across her eye. The makeup that she had applied to the web prior to her attack had been completely melted off; it was now dripping down her neck in a liquid state.

Hmmmmmm. Time for plan B.

"Michelle?" She called out loud enough for the other girls to be able to hear her through the door. "Do you mind if I use your hair scissors?"

"Sure," even through the door, Michelle's voice sounded shocked. "You're cutting your hair?"

"Yeah," Lily responded as she searched the other drawers. "My bangs."

"That's awesome!" Adrian shouted "You'd look so cute with bangs, want us to come in and help you?"

"No! " Lily said automatically, imagining their reaction to Aramaeo "I mean, why don't I cut them and then you can tell me how they look?"

"Oh, ok. Fine. But hurry."

Lily quickly found the scissors and deposited them on the counter, and then she pulled the cover-up back onto the counter from where it had fallen onto the floor and laid it out. Picking up the brush she ran the paint over her tattoo again, praying it would only melt if an attack was happening. She covered the web down to where her shirt would cover, apply the makeup several times to make sure that it would stay, cursing the fact that she was out of water proof.

She picked up a comb and throw the makeup back into the drawer. Using the tip of the comb she pulled a thick portion of her hair from the crown of her head.

"Ok, "she called out "I'm cutting now."

"Hurry up!" Michelle called, "the suspense is killing me!"

Lily rolled her eyes and slowed down just because of that. Picking up the scissors, she cut began cutting her hair.

She cut one section at her eyebrow and then angled the scissors as she cut lower and lower. Every strand as longer than the rest. All of them flowing perfectly to cover her eye, check, ear and the piece of her throat where the tattoo was. When Lily put down the scissors and ruffed her hair, then the bangs fell naturally over everywhere her tattoo was.

Feeling proud of herself, Lily skipped from the room.

"Ta-da." She said extravagantly landing in front of Adrian, Michelle and now also Gemma. All of which didn't say anything, but just sat and stared at her with open mouths.

"What?" She said instantly self conscious "You don't like it?"

""What?" Asked Michelle "Like it? We freaking love it!" Her and Adrian stood up and began talking excitedly about the new hair style.

"Lily?" Gemma asked standing up, "Why didn't you tell me you were cutting your bangs?"

Lily shrugged "It was kind of a last minute thing. No biggie."

"Other than you looking totally and completely friggin' hot? No biggie at all."

Lily laughed, glad to forget about Arameo for a little while.

**Thanks, please review!**

**LIZIES**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

**Sorry this is so short, I wanted to get it posted as soon as possible**

"**Halloween"**

Lily woke up at 3:00 in the morning. A scratching noise at the window was the cause of her awakening. Rolling over, she shut her eyes and tried to go back to sleep. The noise at the window only grew louder. She flipped over onto her back again and listened. Thoughts of owl, Starla, filled her mind. With that in mind, she fell back to sleep.

The next time Lily woke up it was 7:55.

"Enter at your own risk" Lily called out. The door opened and Declan entered in. He took one step in, looked around the cluttered room, the girls getting ready for the day and said; "I can see why entering is a risk"

Lily threw her spell book at him.

With an easy smile he caught it with one hand while pushing the door open with the other. "Small meeting." He said and James, Sirius, Lupin and Peter walked throw the door. With a small whip of her wand, Lily tidied up the room and then sat down, the rest of the 5th years finding various positions around her. Declan stood facing them, his muscular and scarred arms folded in front of his chest. He looked at them with a strange look in his eye and a frown on his face as he studied each of the students.

"There was an attack last night."

A stunned silence echoed around the room before noise broke through.

"Attack? What do you mean attack?

"On who? What happened?

"Where?"

"Why?"

"When?"

Declan made a silencing notion with his hand and they quieted.

"It happened at about 3:30 in the morning last night. In the entrance hall we expect. The attack was on Richie Charleston. He and his girl friend had snuck out late to snog on their way back up they came head to head with three hippogriffs', and a sphinx. The fact that these creatures that usually would be enemies are working together is a bad sign. The majority of the monsters acted on Richie while his girlfriend, Katie, ran to the nearest Auror room, Agent Moran. We were able to get there in time to save Richie but he'll still be spending numerous months in Mongo and has a strong possibility of permanent damage. "

He paused for several moments. Lily had never seen him look this serious before. Even through the silence the 5th years had the feeling he wasn't done.

"And?" James finally asked

"And because of this security is being tightened. Curfew is now 8:00, all students in their common rooms or dorms, no exception. You will be escorted from class to class by your Protective agents.

"What if we want to go visit Hagrid?" James piped up from where he and Sirius were sitting on Michelle's bed.

"Not unless I'm with you."

James and Sirius shared a look that obvious shared their thoughts on the subject, but Declan wasn't done yet.

"We have our reasons for it. The current idea is that the animals that broke in had a separate victim in mind and Richie and Katie were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Exactly who it was for we have some leads but were not certain."

" A-a person?" Adrian stuttered out.

Declan nodded his mouth a thin line, but Lily was far too busy thinking to notice. She had heard the scratching noise at 3:00. The attack on Richie had occurred at 3:30. Was it possible that it hadn't been Starla at all? But the hippogriffs? Hippogriffs could fly after all. A half hour was long enough for them to try and break in before ultimately deciding to enter through the great hall.

But that plan was ridiculous. Why would they want with her? Ignoring Arameo if course… but that would make sense. Evil was eventually attracted to evil. Right?

But that was ridiculous… absolutely…

"Ridiculous"

"What was that Lily?" Declan asked. She hadn't even realized she had said it out loud, and now every eye was turned to her.

"Nothing." She said blushing and looking at the ground.

"Lily." Declan asked, looking at her. "If you know anything._ Anything_, I need you to tell me."

"Its nothing, all that happened was that at about 3:00 last night I heard this scraping noise at the window. No biggie it was proubraly just starla." Declan eyes widened and he pulled out his wand.

"This window?" He asked motioning towards the window next to her bed. Lily nodded

"It wasn't Starla." He said moving towards the window.

"How do you know."

"Because the owelry was locked last night."

He had reached the window. With his wand he motioned for it to open. The window moved slightly before breaking into several pieces. The window had been scratched so bad that a feather could have opened. Declan's eyes looked towards her face in adamant concern. Lily heart almost stopped. With no actual thought other than away she rushed into the bathroom. Hypervenalating at the sink, her makeup grew uncomfortably hot. Turning on the sink she wipped it all off; scrubbing until it was all gone. When it was gone she looked up at herself and gasped. Not believing her eyes, she washed her face reputedly while Declan called her name.

"No" she whispered. It was all too much, the attack on Richie, the hippogriffs trying to break in her window, and now this….

This; her tattoo, which only yesterday had reached from her hip to her eye, was gone.

All of it.

**Whatever your thinking, review and say just that, whatever it is! **

**LIZIES**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17 **

The next few weeks blended together for Lily. Every day, from class to class, Aurors would escort students from class to class. More than once, Lily was pulled in to explain what happened that night.

Every time, after she had explained the same thing she did last time, they would ask;

"When you woke are you sure you were the same as when you went to sleep. There was nothing out of the ordinary?"

Every time Lily would pretend to think before replying;

"No, nothing was different."

Every time they would respond;

"Are you sure Ms. Evans?"

Every time she'd lie again;

"Yes, I am very much sure."

Every time, Declan would be standing in the corner, looking at her as if he knew she was holding back on something.

She'd look back innocently. And he'd shake it off. Every time.

It wasn't that she didn't want to tell them about her tattoo disappearing. She did. She just knew that in order to tell them, she would first have to explain that why she didn't tell them sooner. Why she didn't go back to Madam Pierce, the medi-witch. Why she kept her pain attacks quiet. Why she kept this crucial piece of information quiet.

Then they would have to check it. Check the tattoo, every aspect of it. They would run every type of test think able on her. They would run then whether she was alright with it or not. If the test showed something wrong they would fix it. She would have no say. None at all. She wouldn't be Lily Evans anymore; she would be That Girl with the Tattoo. They would strip her of her identity, of her thoughts, of everything until the answer of every question was shinning out clear.

Yes, she understood that this was a worse case possibility. But either way telling them would not be good.

And the attacks came back. It only took a few days. They started off small, the same as when they had first begun, and then they got worse and worse. The images, sounds and feelings returning until Arameao was once again ruling over her chest, mind and body. It had only taken until mid December for it all to return.

Tattoos were definitely a sign of slavery, and slavery of the mind was the worst possible.

But still she had to tell someone. It only took till mid November for Gemma to know. She had reacted exactly how Lily had predicted. First shock, then confusion, pain, concern and finally pure guilt for not knowing sooner. Lily did everything she could to convince Gemma that she had absolutely no reason to feel guilty, but she could tell Gemma still felt bad. However, it was amazing to have someone else know. Gemma was perfect for it. She helped Lily get out of anything that would interfere with her attacks. She wanted to be there for Lily when the attacks actually happen, but Lily wasn't sure she wanted any one to see her that weak. For the most part, telling Gemma was possibly the smartest thing she'd done this year. But Gemmas over protective concern was starting to get to her. Still, compared to the last weeks, over protective concern was great.

"Lily are you sure you're alright? What do you need?" Gemma asked looking concerned, placing a caring hand on her friends shoulder while she stared sleepily at the desk. Lily snapped out of it.

"Yeah I'm fine. Just a little tired."

The two girls were sitting in the Great Hall at lunch. Near the center of the table, the Marauders were being very loud and apparently funny, considering everyone else was laughing and temporarily forgetting their biggest problem, the exams. Lily envied them slightly. Arameao was currently uncomfortably hot on her chest.

"Well," Gemma said next to her "we have history of magic next, you could go up and have a nap then study my notes later."

Lily smiled; Gemma was such an amazing friend. But she didn't have to do everything with Lily in mind. No doubt Gemma would be taking twice the regular notes she usually would. Lily didn't want her to work extra for her-any more than she already was.

"I can't fall behind and- I don't want to be alone." It was hard admitting it so Lily looked out one of the many large windows while she said it. Lately, whenever she had been in solitude, she had seen the strangest images. They weren't like the images she had seen during the attacks, they were calmer. Students playing by the lake, or studying in the hall. A father playing with his 2 year old daughter. Julie Potter, getting little Andrew dressed.

"I could come with you then and we could quiz each other later with Adrian's notes."

"That's really thoughtful gem, but neither us should skip class. Plus, I don't want you to miss out on anything else."

"What? I'm not missing out on anything."

"Don't lie to me Gemma. When was the last time you went to Quidditch practice?"

Gemma looked down."I would have missed your attack."

"Yeah, and that's ok. I am appreciate everything you've been doing. Really. I can't tell you how much. But you can live your life. You should. You have a boyfriend you know. Go out with Ty!"

"Lily-"

"Don't you Lily me! Go over there and sit with him. Now! I'll see you in class."

Gemma still looked reluctant, but after a little more buffering from Lily she stood up and walked over to Ty, who had been sitting a few seats away from them, occasionally casting a worried glance at Gemma. When she sat next to him, his face broke into a grin, the anxiety wiping instantly of his face. He kissed her cheek and she smile a little through her blush. Through the rest of lunch, Gemma kept looking over to Lily. Somewhere in the middle of the hour Lily stood up and walked over to Michelle and Adrian, finishing the period with them.

She walked up to History of Magic by herself, passing the regularly placed Aurors that stood watch over lunch. She meet Gemma at one of the desks. The rest of the day past rather uneventfully. Before she knew it she was lying on her bed playing with a strand of her hair and staring at the ceiling.

"Lily?" Gemma asked from her bed next to her.

"Hmmm?" Lily mumbled, twirling her hair around her finger.

"Have you told anyone else?"

"Told them what?"

"About Arameo."

Lily sat up. "Who else would I tell?"

Gemma shrugged looking guilty. "I don't know, but wouldn't it be easier for you if someone else could help to?"

Lily thought of that the rest of the evening. Wouldn't that work? Telling just one more person? She wouldn't get in the habit of one more, of course, and then the whole school would know. But maybe one more would work…

She knew who she would tell. A year ago she would have been discussed at the very idea of telling James Potter but now it didn't seem too bad.

After all, he had managed to keep his mouth shut about Constance, even though she hadn't told him not to tell. It was obvious enough though, she hadn't even told anyone about it. He was the first person she had ever told. If he could be trusted and keep silent with that why not this?

Lily sat up from her bed and walked down to the common room to find James.

**Hey guys! Sorry it took so long, and that this chapter was so boring, it's one of those stepping stones, you don't want it but it's rather necessary **

**Review!**

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	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Lily entered the common room and immediately started looking for James. It was a Friday night, so the only students in the Common room were some 4th years studying and a few 1st years sitting alone, Lily greeted some of the younger students she knew before leaving out of the portal. _If I was James where would I be? _She thought as she walked, well, obviously, he would be with Sirius and the otter marauders. But where would they be? Breaking the rules in every way imaginable, but where? Lily kept walking. She asked some students if they had seen him and they all pointed her in opposite directions. Just as Lily was beginning to give up hope, she saw Adrian and Michelle walking a corridor and decided to at least walk back with them to the Tower.

"Hey guys wait up!" she called out, jogging to catch up with them.

"Hey Lils" Adrian said smiling, but it was a sad smile. Michelle looked like she was going to cry.

"Are you guys ok? You're acting weird."

"We're fine." Michelle said drawing out the first word "I just feel horrible that I didn't know."

Lily was definitely confused now. "Didn't know what?"

"About Constance, James just told us."

Some thin lifeline broke inside of Lily. One of the last shreds of trust snapping in two.

"He? Wha'?" complete words weren't even possible

"Just told us, back by the lake. I feel so bad about not knowing. I mean, we're your friends, were suppose to know these things. I feel like I've been some selfish…." Michelle said more but Lily couldn't hear it over the blood pounding in her ears.

"Who?"

"who what?"

"Who did he tell?"

"oh, um, let me think it was me, Adrian, Sirius, Lupin, Peter, Frank, Alice and a few other 5th year ravenclaws that I always forget the names of."

Everyone she had tried so hard to keep it from.

"How much… Did he tell?" She chocked out and Michelle immediately saw something was wrong.

"He just told us how she totally rejected you as a sister, called you names, got hit by a car and then was willing to die instead of touch you."

So in other words, all of it.

Lily couldn't breathe, her throat was being strangled from the inside out. Vision blurred, she grew cold while she began to sweat. Tears were beginning to roll down her cheecks no matter how hard she tried to retain them.

"Lily…" Adrian said reaching out to comfort her…

"NO!" She said not to Adrian alone, but more the whole world..."nonono, he told? But how? Why?"

The corridor started to slant up, Her legs turned to lead. She had the urge to vomit. Bending over she put her hands on her knees, her tears making spots on the stone floor.

"Lily?" A concerned voice asked, gradually growing closer. _His_ "concerned" voice. "Are you alright?" He put a hand on her back.

Lily couldn't believe he had the nerve to actually touch her.

"NO, I'M NOT OK YOU SICK BASTARD! HOw COULD YOU TELL THEM? ALL OF THEM? I CAN'T BELIEVE I TRUSTED YOU! I NEVER WANT TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN.!" She screamed and tore down the hall, running faster than her legs could possibly propel her. The burning sensation in her legs almost matched the pain to the crumbling sensation in her heart.

"What's wrong dear Lily?" The Fat Pink Lady said when she reached her

"LILY!" She turned around to see James racing up the stairs after her. She swung back around to the portrait ." Gillyweed. Gillyweed, Gillyweed, GILLYWEED" She screeched, the fat lady finally seemed to snap out of her confusion and opened the entrance. Immediately it slammed shut after her.

"Gilly weed." James said to the Fat Lady. She grimly shook her head

"Whadya mean no?"

"That's not the password anymore." She said grimly

"Yes it is!" He protested

"no its not, the new password is a very detailed explanation. Hurry up now."

Once She was safe inside the common room, she raced up to the dorm. Throwing the door open she practically fell into Gemma's Arms, saltwater-tears paving her face.

"Lily?" Gemma shrieked "What is wrong?"

"He told them he told ALL of them…" she moaned into her chest

"Who told them what?

"James he told them about Constance, he told EVERYONE about her, I can't believe I trusted him… now everyone KNOWS!" The words were met by a new wave of sobs and a chill in Gemma's arms.

"You told James?" She asked coolly

Lily nodded, like a judge agreeing to a death sentence "I thought I could trust him…. I can't believe I was going to tell him about Arameo… What did I do wrong Gem?" She blubbered.

Gemma closed her eyes and turned her face up rubbing her hands against her best friends back. She reached down and pulled her comforter around them rocking Lily back and forth like a child. James was going to pay for this one dammit.

"Look I'm telling you, I don't _know _what's wrong." James insisted vainly again.

"Well it obviously had to do with you."

James was so sick of this. Hours before, he had been sitting with his friends by the lake, swapping stories, someone had said something that reminded him of Lily's Constance story, so he told it. HE was a little surprised how no one knew about it; but not completely shocked.

And now here he was. Standing at the painting entrance, after midnight. When anyone else had come, The Fat Lady would let them in, but not James.

For Hell sakes it has been two hours

"Yes but I don't know what I did wrong, if you would let me in I could talk to her-"

"Absolutely not Mr. Potter. Lily is a nice girl, I will not let her be hurt."

"I don't know how I hurt her!"

The fat lady opened her mouth again, but the portal opened and Gemma stepped out. Before James could even say a word, Gemma hit him in the chest with a disarming spell so hard he flew back to the other side of the hall, hit the wall and sunk to the floor.

"Nice hit." The Fat Lady said.

Gemma stomped over to where her cousin was starting to stand up

"HOW could you? I can't believe I'm even related to you! Hopefully the motive to act like a jackass isn't hereditary and is only acquired because you were dropped several times as a child! Too bad you survived the fall!" She flicked her wand, sentencing him to the Bat-Boogie hex.

After watching him run around, screaming while being chased by imaginary creatures for several minutes. Gemma hit him hard with a counter curse, it was time to scream more.

"I have SO many things I want to call you but for the sake of these painting ears I'll refrain and stick to killing you!"

"Gemma Calm down-"

"CALM DOWN? YOU BROKE MY BEST FRIENDS HEART AND YOU THINK I SHOULD "CALM DOWN"?" She hit him with several more hexes, his pain growing increasingly, she felt the jerk deserved it.

"What did I do?" HE asked during a small interval while Gemma was trying to decide which hex was more painful. She froze when he said this/

"What did you do?" She said slowly walking towards him as he backed against the wall. HE was surprised a hiss could be this terrifying. "What did you do? I'll tell you what you did. YOU broke my best friends' heart by telling everyone within earshot one of her deepest secrets."

"I didn't know it was a secret."

Gemma laughed "How thick are you James?" She asked "Think of how she told you, it wasn't exactly at dinner for everyone to hear."

"Well-" she had him there-"that doesn't mean it was a complete secret, I mean she told others, she told you-"

"No she didn't"

"She- what?"

"She didn't tell me, her parents did, they grateful she had a friend even after that happened. SHE never told me, YOU were the first person she's told, trusted, with this. You were the one to break everything she saw in you. Anything you did that made her like you. Well congratulations, she officially hates you."

Even before Gemma's speech was done, James had understood the seriousness of what he had done. He hadn't stopped to think before he acted. He had made damage that seemed impossible to fix. He had ruined the girl he loved.

"I'm so sorry." He hadn't even realized it was said out loud. His sense were blurred by the cold permafrost that settled over him as her thought of what she must be feeling right now.

"You better be, and you'll be even more sorry when I'm finished with you, and trust me cuz, I'm nowhere near finished.

**Well that's an interesting little twist, I don't think you guys saw that coming. This chapter was actually fun to write**

**Now PLEASE REVIEWREVIEWREVIEW! **

**LIZIES**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19 **

The next few months passed slowly, painfully and hazardously by for Lily. She was numb to the outside world. She followed Gemma, did what she did, and did what she told her to. She went to Slug Club meetings and Quidditch games but had perpetually lost that gleam in her eye that showed the world she cared. She did care though, for others, she tried to help, but the only time the cold dulling pain of James betrayal lessened was at 8:04 when a searing red hot pain replaced it.

It haunted her every day, the fact that some unknown strength was taking over her body. Slowly, but surely. Arameo hadn't grown much, not anywhere near matching the ratio of the length and growth before. His web had dominated her face, true. But his domain ended at her hip, only a few straggling strand reaching down her leg. It was the attacks that grew worse. The feeling of a knife before was now replaced with one of a chainsaw.

That wasn't all that haunted her. There was James; which was a whole other story. She wanted to be pissed. She was pissed, but more she was scared. She didn't know anything anymore. She couldn't separate fact from fiction. Truth from Lies. Love from Hate.

She just didn't know anymore.

James watched Lily from a distance. She seemed physically smaller. As if his mistake had literally cropped her down.

That hurt him more than anyone would ever guess.

The words that Lily had screamed to him echoed almost as loud as the words he had told the others about Constance. Every day. He remembered, tried to picture what insane excuse had given him excuse to hurt her this badly.

He couldn't come up with any.

This was bad enough without everyone else asking as well.

"Lily eat." Gemma said a hint of desperation in her voice.

Lily opened her mouth several times, revolted at the thought of food. Arameo was impatient, like her was waiting for something; what Lily had no idea. But it hurt, bad. It was like that first pain Attack ever, except all the time. She shook her head and wiped her eyes, tipping back in her chair crowding away from the usually appetizing food.

"Lily please." Gemma said, freaking out. Here it was, well into December and Lily still hadn't recovered. She hadn't expected Lily to be completely stable yet, not with Arameo and James, but she hadn't expected her to be this bad. She only ate when forced, never smiled, tear marks where constantly on her face; she grew paler every day and was sinking deeper and deeper. Arameo was hurting, Gemma could tell, every once in a while a red spot would race along the currents of the web, burning Lily in the process. At first this had openly hurt her, she'd wince and drop whatever she had been holding, but lately burnt or not, she was always in pain.

And so was James.

Every time Lily cried when she thought no one could hear her, every time she cried when she knew people could hear her. Every time, Gemma made sure James had some effect on him from it. He was NOT forgiven. It was important he remembered that.

Gemma sat back up and tried to make Lily eat again.

"Come on mate relax a bite. It's almost Christmas."

James dragged his head out from his hands to look at Sirius. He was sitting next to him at the table that included all the Marauders. It was the usual scene lately; James diligently doing his work or just reminiscing his mistakes, Lupin also doing his work but being quite confused at Prongs behavior, Peter looking nervous as always, and Sirius trying to cheer them up with no response.

"Sorry Paddy, I'm just a bit down today."

"Today? More like this part of the year. It's been over a month. Get over it."

"It's not that simple."

"Yes it is. So what? You made one mistake, you'll get over it."

"It's not me I'm worried about."

"Oh right, it's _Lily_."

James yanked his eyes from the frosty window back to Padfoot. He studied his face for several moments, when he finally responded there was steel in his voice;

"And what exactly is that suppose to mean?"

Now even Lupin looked up at them, panic registering in his wolf brown eyes at the scene in front of him; Prongs looking up at Padfoot with anger in his eyes, Padfoot looking back with a sturdy indignation. Right now it didn't seem like much, but with these two, things could escalate badly. And quickly.

"Hey guys lets calm a bit" he said quickly, they, of course, ignored him.

"I think you know what I mean Prongsie. "

James slowly put down his quill. "I don't believe I do."

"Stop lying." Padfoot said sliding to the tip of his seat to get as close to James as possible over the table. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. It's her, it's always her. It's always been her to you. Guess what? It's never been you to her."

"You don't know what you're talking about-"

"Don't I? Think about James, you've been trying to get her since we were 11. She hated you remember? And guess what else? She hates you now too."

Those words stung. James forced the lump in his throat back to his stomach so he could talk.

"She hated me then because she didn't know me. She hates me now because I've been such a horrible person to her. Wretched. Worse than Wretched. I broke her heart, not broke, I ripped it out and wacked it with a Quidditch bat until it was in splinters that I then threw at her!"

The lump crept back up. Padfoot sat back again, shocked at Prongs' reaction.

"She trusted me. Trusted me when she couldn't bear to tell anyone else. I tossed that aside. You know what I told you about her secret? Well apparently I was the first she's told in nearly 5 years."

He sat back to; they all sat in that uncomfortable silence, watching James slowly regains control over his breathing.

"It was so amazing when she'd talk to me. When she came to my house. I pulled her in the pool. We slept out under the stars on the grass with all these blankets. Her head was right next to me, I played with her hair but I don't think she noticed." James eyes had gone completely vacant, not in the empty way they had been, but in a pleasant way, he was remembering something happier. "The next day we went around Godric's Hollow. Playing and laughing at Tyler's lame jokes. I showed her everything. The church the graveyard everything. She seemed totally at home. That night we stayed up watching movies until mum made us go to bed. But it was a full moon and I felt bad for making Moody transform alone, so I couldn't sleep. I went down stairs, Lily and Gemma had slept in the living room. Call me a stalker, but I just looked at her for a little, amazed at how well she just fit in with us, fit in with me….

Eventually I tore myself away and went outside. I went into the garden, it was pretty, and the last of the flowers were in bloom you see." He was speaking to himself more than anyone now. Feeling that if he said it out loud it would be more real. . "I was just looking up at the moon and feeling guilty for ditching moody and frustrated that Sirius didn't come with and just at everything… Voldemort, demetors all that other crap that's been going on. I was just thinking it couldn't be fixed and then she came out. And it was. Everything was better. I was startled at first but, she was just so pretty, she's beautiful… even more than that. Exquisite. Amazing. My vocabulary isn't even broad enough to find the word that fits right. She's…" He shook his head, his eyes misting his glasses. "I think I'm in love with her." He smiled a little immaturely, putting his head down. Peter seemed confused. Lupin looked shell-shocked, like he couldn't tell up from down any more. Prongs was the goof off along with Sirius… Did he really feel like that? Was he really capable of feeling like that? As confused as he was, he wasn't near as confused as Sirius, who was looking back and forth between Moody and Prongs, as if expecting someone to yell GOTCHA!

They didn't

Slowly James spoke again, his tone giving away what his hidden face didn't.

It was amazing, when we got back to the castle she sat with me at breakfast, laughed at my jokes, helped me with homework; she actually seemed to… like me a little.

"Then that freaking attack at her window threw everyone off guard. I stayed up all night watching her dot on the Map to make sure she was ok and no one else was near. I'd slow down or speed up in the hall to make sure she was ok. She seemed to be, but something was wrong. But I didn't know what, I still don't know. I think she was going to tell me when-"

His words cut off again. He breathed for several seconds. "I'm such an Idiot. It was amazing when she was here, then-"He took deep breaths that shock his whole body. "Then she left. I made her leave. It was my fault. All. My. Fault."

He looked back up into Sirius's face again. The venom returning to his tongue. "So yeah Padfoot. It's her. It's always her, it is her, and it will always be her. No matter what happened. She's what matters. She can hate me. It serves me right. I deserve it; Gemma can't curse me hard enough to make things even. I can't hurt myself enough to take it back. So yeah. It's_ Lily_."

James pushed his chair back, collected his books and left, pulling the map out of his pocket as he walked away.

**Ok! What you're feeling? Right now? Right as you finished reading? TELL ME ABOUT IT! REVIEW REVIEW! I tried really hard to make this piece emotional and still show James's side of the story. I really need to know who I did. Sorry if I got it wrong. One thing that's funny is I thought this would be the shortest chapter yet, then I decided to go into James and Sirius and bit… then I didn't really stop…. REVIEW SIRIUSLY PEOPLE!**

**~LIZIES~**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

**Christmas**

Lily couldn't believe she was here. She couldn't believe that Gemma had honestly talked her into coming. She didn't know why she had let Gemma talk her into in the first place. She figured that it must have had something to do with Gemma's sick expression, the growing pain attacks, and the depression from James and every other thing that was currently happening. But still in hindsight, it seems like a rather small excuse to be sitting in the small infirmary off of the Potters Living room.

She was perched gently on the edge of the small bed; staring blankly at the floor. She remembered the last time she was here. It was only a few months ago but it seemed like forever, a complete other lifetime. A happier, pleasant, more understanding world where everything made since. But then again, nothing has changed. It's still the same world; she just needed a way to understand it again.

"Well now, it took more than it should to get you here this time. We can't have been that bad to you last time around."

Lily gave a shaky laugh. "No, last time was really fun, thanks for letting me stay, it's just…" Lily tried to find the words to kindly tell Julie that she currently hated her son. She couldn't find any.

"Well, I suppose you do have your own family to be with right? No..." Lily hadn't meant for her negativity to be so well spelled out on her face.

"Uh, not really."

"Hmm." Julie pulled a piece of hair away from Lily's face and tucked it behind her face. Lily automatically felt calmer. "Well, I suppose whatever the reason, I'm sure it's legitimate. Now. What's this problem Gemma's told me about?"

"Um, why don't we start with what she told you?" _Just to set some ground work _Lily thought

"Well now, let's see, She mentioned things like routine spasms, perpetual pain, convulsion, burning sensations, lack of sleep, focused attitude and diet, things like that."

_Perfect_, Lily thought, Gemma told her word for word what I told her she could tell. _Except for that last part what is that about_-

"Although I think the lack of sleep, focused attitude and diet are more contributors to depression are they not?"

Lily looked up at Julie again. Her face was soft, caring, like always, but with a stitch of sadness spilling from her eyes,

"Well, not exactly depression but-"

"Lily, I know about James; about what he did to you."

A rock appeared in Lily's throat as she slammed her eyes shut. A single water drop slid down her cheek. Lily wiped it off her face, annoyed at herself. "I'm sorry, really I-"

"Don't be. Don't you dare be. You did nothing wrong. But I want you to know I recognize the courage it took you to come here."

"Gemma asked me to. She's been so good through this. She looked so scared."

"Aren't you?"

Pause.

"Of course. I'm terrified," More and more drops trailed her cheeks. Lily was shocked at the mass of them; she had thought she was out of tears.

This silence was much longer, in which, Julie held her in that motherly way she had desperately needed. She hummed under her breath, rocking back and forth softly while the springs creaked. She petted her hair and occasionally murmured a comforting thought. Sometime later, after the salt water had dried and glued Lily's face together; she slid away from her, using her hair to hide her face, and embarrassment. After wiping her face with her hands, she folded them in her lap.

"Did he tell you? She asked, her voice cracking

"Not exactly. But I gathered."

Pause

"I think I forgave him a long time ago. I can see the pain I put him through and as bad I feel about that, but I just can't do it. I can't look at him anymore and not remember what he did.

"I understand, it's perfectly reasonable."

"But he's your son, and you've been so nice to me, so thoughtful, I mean, surprise holiday and now this? I should treat him better-"

"Don't forgive him because of anything we do."

Lily shook her head again. This visit was going the exact opposite as planned.

"Hey Mom? You in there?" James voice rang through the house. Lily jumped automatically looking for an escape. Julie closed her eyes and breathed through her nose.

"What is it James?" She asked, standing up and going to the door.

"Andy woke up, he was crying in his cradle." His voice was closer now, right outside the door

"Hold on," Julie said, facing Lily for a few moments before going out the door. Lily cautiously sat back down on the bed, through the door, she could hear people talking. James and Julie at first. Then a man that had to be Marcus. A second later they were joined by Ashley. From their voices Lily assumed that they were planning a trip someplace. She pounded her palm against her forehead, internally cursing herself for being here. What was going to be a short trip to get medicine had turned drastically wrong.

"Yeah hold on I'll grab it mom." Ashley said pushing open the door to the infirmary. When she saw her exquisite face clouded with confusion, shock and then happiness. 

"Li-"

She was cut off by Lily's hand movements. Ashley's eyebrows moved together. Lily slammed against her lips, then made a motion like shutting a door.

Ashley obliged, placing the door back in its frame before turning to her.

"What?" She whispered.

"He he still there?"

"Who dad? Yeah he's there-"

"No not Marcus- the _other_ one"

Ashley looked at as if she'd just sprouted hooves. "James?" She asked

Lily winced before nodding.

"Yeah, I thought you were friends with him?" her voice volume returning to normal

"SHHHHHH"

One of Ashley's eyebrows moved up her forehead, her lips puckered but she didn't say anything. She turned around, retrieved some cream from the cupboard and walked out, her face tight.

After she walked out, Lily sank back onto the bed. _This was such a horrible idea_. She thought as she waited for Julie to return.

01010101010101010

3 days later, on Christmas morning, Lily was curled up on her bed, asleep. Despite the tonic from Julie her pain attacks had literally cut through her skin, leaving her bleeding. By the time she had showered, wiped up her room, washed her clothes and relaxed enough to fall asleep, it was quite late. At 8:04 she had jolted awake, half of her Pain attacks already had been in her sleep. That was an experience she never, ever wanted to do again. After all these factors, Lily had slept in until far past 10.

An owl pecking on her window woke her up. It was large and well groomed; she immediately recognized it as the Potter Family owl. Completely bewildered, Lily sat up and stumbled to the window. She opened it and the owl swopped in, dropping a parcel on her bed before flying back out. Even more bewildered still, she walked over to the package and tore it open, shaking it up it down on her bed. 3 items fell out. A box of honey dukes chocolate, a large fluffy bear with a red bow around its neck, and a letter. Lily looked at it. A bear, chocolate and a letter. Maybe it was sent to her on accident?

She picked up the letter and sat down, tearing it open with one finger. She unfolded to paper concealed inside and read;

_Dear Lily,_

_I'm so sorry about the Constance thing, and I pray you can forgive me. I hope these gifts will help you forgive me and be my friend again._

_Merry Christmas,_

_James._

Lily put the letter on her nightstand with a sharp noise. Staring at the wall. All at once, she stood up, walked to the door, holding the chocolate and the white bear, which looked at her with shiny black eyes. She stomped out her room and into the hall, she past her mother in the living room, who looked at her in confusion before her eyes settled on the gifts in her hands.

"Lily, what in the world?" She began before being silenced by her daughters look. Lily swept out the door, down the snow packed street and to the community homeless shelter. She rang the door bell. A moment later a frail looking women with gray hair and wrinkles opened the door.

"Here you go, "Lily sais, dropping the items in her hands. "Please give these to some one less fortunate. Thank you." With that she turned on her heel and walked away, not turning at the women's "thank you, and merry Christmas. She glared all the way home, thinking of what an insufferable, rotten little git James Potter was.

**Hey! Sorry that chapter was so dragging, I just wanted to post it soon so it's not as good as some others. I don't know when I'll be able to update again…. Anyway, please review!**

**LIZIES**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

She walked up the staircase quickly, desperately not wanting to run into a certain someone. Christmas break hadn't turned out to be anything like how it was suppose to be, to tell the truth, it had sucked. She had gone to the Potters house, trying to find some sort of medication. That trip actually hadn't gone as horribly as the rest of her holiday had gone; she actually had gotten a remedy that was supposed to help that pain and another for clinical depression.

Although after a certain Christmas gift, she felt like Anger medication might be more useful.

"Lily! Hey! Lily!" James voice broke her fumbling into splinters. Sharp, dangerous splinters.

"What?" She said through her teeth. She turned on her heels to see James bounding up the stairs after her. He stopped on the landing next to her.

"Are you ok?"

"Excuse me?" She asked annoyed

"Are. You. Ok?" He said this slowly, as if speaking to a child.

"I heard what you said." Her teeth were clenched now. _Don't freak out don't freak out,_ she chanted" I just don't understand why you would be asking them."

"Well, Ashley mentioned that you where at our infirmary during break. Is everything cool?"

Snap

"NO! EVERYTHING IS NOT 'COOL'! ARE YOU SERIOUSLY SUCH A GIT THAT YOU CAN'T SEE THAT?"

James visibly took a step back, holding onto the rail with fear her voice might visibly knock him over.

"What are you talking about? What am I suppose to see when you won't even talk to me? Not exactly my fault."

Lily's mouth dropped open. He did not just say that. He did NOT just say that.

"Oh I'M sorry, did I not want to have to put up with the guy how completely betrayed my trust?"

"You didn't TELL me not to tell anyone Lily."

"Did I honestly NEED to?"

Lupin, Sirius, and peter appeared at the top of the stairs. "Ahhhhh, guys?" Lupin noticed their hostile expressions, clenched fist, locked jaws.

"You assumed WAY too much Lily."

"Do I? Excuse me if I thought you were actually trustworthy! Guess I was wrong!"

"What? I am totally trustworthy; I've kept secrets you don't even know about."

"What now? Are you going to tell me to prove a point, or just because you're bored."

"Of course I'm not going to tell you."

"Why not? I'm not the one who doesn't even think before opening their BIG FAT MOUTH."

"You're just being sensitive!"

"You're just being a jackass!"

"Lily, James, Let's calm down a bit and think this through." Lupins' attempts were futile.

"Oh my Merlin Potter! You never cease to amaze me with exactly how think you can be?"

"I'm thick? Think again Evans, At least when I'm in trouble, I don't just hang around in denial. I get help, like you should."

"Are you saying I'm incapable?"

"Stop putting words into my mouth!"

"I'm simply deciding their double meaning, Potter!" She yelled,

"What would you know?"

"Evidently more then you."

"That's a very incorrect assumption, Evans."

"No, it's not." She said, she stepped back to look at him "Not that it matters though. I never want to talk to you again." She spun on her heels and bolted to Gryffindor tower.

"What the bloody hell was that about?" James asked, watching her run towards the castle. Away from him.

"Um, I'm not a genius but I'd gather she's mad at you Prongs."

"No bloody way padfoot, I would have NEVER guessed that. Why is she mad at me?"

"Cause your you?" Lupin guessed

"She obviously doesn't know you well enough." Piped up peter, looking proud of himself for contributing to the conversation.

James ears visibly perched up after a moment. " But if she did…."

Lupin was slightly scared by the expression on his face. "Prongs, please tell me whatever your thinking doesn't involve any more St. Jimmy's supersonic gunpowder."

"No," his face was confused for a moment, Sirius used this moment to interject-"That was AWESOME moody, you know it."

"What I was thinking, was that if she got to know me, all would be forgiven, if she would only go out with me…"

"Ugh" Lupin groaned "That just may be worse."

James ignored him, a battle strategy already forming.

**Well, theres chapter 21, hope you liked it, sorry it was so short, I was going to add one more piece to it but I'll just include it with the next chapter. Thanks for reading! **

**Here's how I see it, I took the time to write over 700 words, you can spare me a few right?**

**~LIZIES~**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Lily was so sick of it. Of everything, of having government officials at the entrance and exit of every door. Of taking detours to not run into Potter. Of having to be alone at exactly 8:04 every day. Maybe Constance and Petunia we're right, she was a freak. She was sick of the confusion, the pain, the arguing.

1111113333333333111111111

Lily and Gemma walked down the aisle in the great hall, heading to the end where Michelle and Adrian were waiting. Neither of them has slept much lately. Gemma out of worry, Lily out of pain.

It had been weeks since her fight with Potter. Lily still refused to talk to him, although he bugged her to go out with him regularly. Why the hell did he think she would honestly go out with him? That was the most absurd idea she had ever heard. Her attacks were getting worse, they were lasting longer and longer each time, even when they were gone Lily felt the pain. That's all she was made of. Layers and layers of pain. Pain from the attacks, Pain from lying, pain from James, pain from Severus.

The last one was a rather new addition. He had been acting more and more strange. His already white skin was paler then it had been. His hair hung in slimy clumps. His chest shaking with tasks as simple as breathing. His eyes darted around every room he entered as if he suspected something terrible to be waiting. She was trying to be there for him so he would be there for her. But all he did was telling her there was nothing she could do.

'There was nothing she could do' what an accurate yet ironic statement. Of her life, she was in control of absolutely nothing. Or at least that's what she felt like. Sometimes it literally felt like her free agency was slipping through her fingers, leaving her a pawn in some else's cruel game.

"I'm serious Pad foot, it was NOT funny, and I cannot believe you would that."

"Chill it Prongsie. You've been at it all night, besides no one got hurt."

"Ch-?" Potter made a series of highly disbelieving noises "No one got hurt? Do you have any idea how close it was Sirius? He could have died"

"If he did it wouldn't be a service?"

"WHAT? Paddy how could you even say that? We're always telling ourselves that we're better then Death Eaters!"

"Well, apparently you are, St. James."

Lily and Gemma were almost to their destination when they heard this snippet of conversation, without speaking they both slowed and sat down. Far enough that they weren't actually BY the Marauders, but close enough to still hear them.

"Stop messing around Sirius! "

"It was only a prank"

"You could have gotten Snape killed. Now I don't like him any more then you do, but I would hate to have that on my conscience for the rest of my life."

"Well apparently I don't have a conscience, a fact you have kindly pointed out to me numerous times"

Potter sighed and put his head into his face. He looked exhausted, not only today either. There were deep bags under his bloodshot eyes. He started slowly rubbing his temples.

"Where's lupin?" He asked without look up,

"He locked himself in the bathroom; you didn't have to tell him you know."

"I didn't-"This seemed to be the last straw for Potter, he stood up, knocking over a goblet in the process, he didn't do anything about it. Simply picked up his bag, slopped to hiss something at Black before marching away. Pad foot looked offered but he didn't say anything, only locked his jaw and glared.

Lily waited for a few moments before looking up at Gemma.

"What the crap?" She asked. Gemma shrugged, looking just as confused as Lily.

"Well, it obviously had something to do with Severus."

"It definitely sounded like it."

"Wow, it must have been something to get Black and Potter fighting. I wonder what?"

Gemma's eyes locked on something behind her. "I have a feeling your about to find out."

Lily looked confused before slowly turning around to see Severus. Who was looking at her with panic and obvious we-need-to-talk vibes.

"Um.. I'm going to go talk to him." Lily said standing up, Gemma nodded, and winced as Lily did, her entire face grimacing with the pain from Arameo.

She stood up and walked across the great hall, Snape leaping up to follow her, trying, and failing, to do so discreetly. A few Slytherins glared in his direction but no one got up to stop him. Lily lead the way out and to an empty corridor, he jogged for a bit to catch up with her.

"What's going on Sev?" she asked, twirling around to face him. He walked up to her side quickly.

"I'm lucky to be alive Lils."

"Excuse me?"

"There's something wrong with Lupin."

"What in the world are you jabbering on about. "

"Lupin, haven't you noticed anything…strange" he looked excited, it made Lily's stomach hurt, or maybe that was Arameo.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well-"he looked around at s a few groups of passing students; finally he leaned in a whispered into her ear.

"What!" She jumped back so suddenly several people looked; she didn't tear her face from him. "Are you ruddy insane?"

"It's true!"

"There's no way, he's too nice… calm"

"Think about it Lils, he disappears around the full moon, comes back looking so stressed out, so do _them_."

Lily didn't have to ask how he meant by _them_, she didn't want to hear his name anyway. She didn't believe him, but still didn't want to talk about them.

"… Last night I confronted black about it" Severus was saying, so much for not talking about them. "He told me to go to the Whomping Willow. Did you know that if you took a root then the whole tree will freeze? That's what they do, they took it and then sneak out of the castle-"

"Really Sev?" She asked suddenly, Severus who had been pouring into the tale straightened up, looking sad that she interrupted him. "They sneak out of a patrolled castle, freeze an enchanted tree, sneak out of school grounds and run around with a werewolf? How do they do that without getting caught every single month, how do they run around with a growing werewolf and survive? Really Sev, this is pushing it."

He frowned at her words; this was not going as planned, as they started walking, he planned a different approach,

"Your being totally misunderstand Lils, I thought we were supposed to be friends. Best friends."

"We _are_ Sev, but I don't like some of the people your round with! I'm sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber! _Mulciber_! What do you see in him, Sev, he's creepy! D'you know what he tried to do to Mary Macdonald the other day?"

They has reached the end of the courtyard, lily sighed, and leaned against of the pillars, looking up into Severus's face. He was starting to look extremely uncomfortable.

"That was nothing, "he managed out "it was a laugh, that's all-"

"It was Dark Magic, and if you think that's funny-"

"What about the stuff Potter and his mates get up to?" he asked suddenly, red creeping into his yellow face. Lily's patience was dimming; couldn't he tell she didn't want to talk about that git just now?

"What's Potter got to do with anything?"

"They sneak out at night. There's something weird about that Lupin. Where does he keep going?"

"He's ill, they say he's ill-"

"Every month at the full moon?" there was a ring of smug correctness in his voice that made Lily want to slug him

"I know your theory." She said as evenly as possible, Arameo's web flared slightly at her emotion. "Why are you so obsessed with them anyway? Why do you care what they're doing at night?

"I'm just trying to show you they're not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are."

He looked at her until she felt heat rush to her cheeks. She suddenly remembered the actual point of their conversation and dropping her voice she continued it;

"They don't use dark magic though. And you're being really ungrateful. I heard what happened the other night. You went sneaking down that tunnel by the Whomping Willow, and James Potter saved you from whatever's down there-"

"Saved?" He sputtered "Saved? You think he was playing the hero? He was saving his neck and his friends' too! You're not going to- I won't let you-"

"_Let_ me? _Let_ me?"

Her patience for this conversation, for life, broke with an almost audible _snap_.

"I didn't mean—I just don't want to see you made a fool of-He fancies you! James Potter fancies you! And he's not… everyone thinks… big Quidditch hero—"Through his tone Lily was reminding how he still hated potter more than she did. But her eyebrows slowly swept up her forehead. Did he think she wasn't painfully aware of this?

"I know James Potter's an arrogant toe rag. I don't need you to tell me that. But Mulibers and Avery's idea of humor is just evil. _Evil_, Sev. I don't understand how you can be friends with them." Lily was forced to notice how his entire body relaxed at her first statement, she tried not to be too concerned about that. He was just a good friend looking out for her. He nodded slightly, and Lily felt good for making him smile.

They started walking again, out of the courtyard and onto the grounds, they chatted idly as they walked. It wasn't until they past a crowd of stones neighboring Hagrids Hut didn't she get a shock at all. It seemed to be a perfectly normal Hogwarts morning, a few students here and there, studying or playing or just laying down on the grass. Aurors patrolled as they regularly did, they presents had become so normal Lily had a hard time remebering they hadn't always been there.

When they passed the rocks, Lily was very grateful Severus and not her was currently speaking, for on the rock facing the Forbidden Forest, there was a crack. A seem cutting jaggedly through the rock, it was wider at the bottom and slowly grew more and more narrow. Lily wouldn't have noticed anything at all if not a spider perched at the top of the crack. It was long and spindly. It looked exactly like Arameo. When her eyes locked on the spider, her chest burnt painfully and she felt Arameo flex his appendages. She couldn't breathe she could barely see. She was dimly aware of Sev still chatting beside her and the spider, flexing its arm before disappearing into the crack.

**Hey! Sorry it took so long to post this one, I know it's been month, I guess I just got busy with school and whatnot. This chapter has sat abandoned for way to long. Anyway, please PLEASE tell me what you think in a kind review? Pretty please?**

**LIZIES**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

"Hey you"

Lily walked up to Severus, who was sitting alone in the window seal of a corridor. The Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L's was after lunch, and every fifth year seen was bending over a book.

"It was hard to decide who looked worse, Lily or Severus. They both had dropping eyelids and bloodshot eyes. Sallow, pale and exhausted, at least Severus was still eating.

"Lily." He stood up and hugged her, before stepping back, still standing. "Are you alright?"

Lily frowned "What are you talking about."

"Well…." Severus choose his words carefully "You look like you're going to throw up and your constantly fidgeting with your clothes. What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she lied quickly, looking everywhere but at him. Was it really that obvious? Arameo sent races of embers along her skin.

"Lily." He gave a sort of half chuckle-half cry sound. "I've been your best friend since we were 8. I think I know you a bit better than that."

She smiled slightly, wincing at the muscle movement that Arameo didn't agree with.

She could tell him, he wouldn't pass it on; he was a good, trustworthy friend.

Then again, that was similar to what she had thought when she told James about Constance. Look how that turned up, she told herself.

Besides, what about Mulciber and Avery? He shared a dorm with junior Death Eaters. They could twist it out of him, but what did Arameo have to do with You-Know-Who? The Dark Lord specialized in dark magic of all sort. Was there any way this bond of pain on her chest wasn't dark magic? And if Arameo DID have something to do with the Dark Lord, would He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named come for her.

Who would he send?

"Lily? Lily." Severus snapped his fingers in her face a few times, waved his hand, shook her shoulder. "You alright? You completely zoned out on me."

"Yeah I'm totally fine, just worried about the exam." Severus didn't believe her lies what so ever.

"Sure. Let's go with that." He said sarcasm dripping from his words. Lily laughed her first real laugh in weeks.

"yes, let's go with that considering it's the truth."

Sev nodded vigorously, his entire face still glowing from her laugh.

"Here," she said, still giggling "You can quiz me," she curled up in the window seal and Sev sat eagerly besides her. From across the hall, James glared at them, at him, with every ounce of contentment he contained.

"Blimey prongs, if looks could kill, pour slimy Snivellus would be long gone by now."

"Shut up Padfoot, just look at them. Look at HIM, undressing her with his eyes, mentally draped over her like, like….. It's revolting."

"A bit jealous are we, mate?" REMUS asked from where he was trying to help Peter calm down enough to study.

"That should be me. That So should be me, and all because of one stupid slip up. I'm such a bloody idiot."

"Yup." Sirius agreed enthusiastically. "but aren't we all?" James didn't respond, after several minutes, Padfoot sighed. "Just get over her mate."

"I can't."

"try harder."

"I have, she's just so amazing"

"She hates your guts."

"Thanks for popping my happy bubble pads. 'appreciate it."

"May I have your attention, please?" McGonagall stood at the end of the corridor, slowly, the conversation dropped and every fifth year stood to look at her, James noticed Snivellus standing close to Evans, his jaw set. "Your seats for this Defense Against the Dark Arts exam are assigned; Professor Flitwick will be administering this test. Go in quietly and take your seat, your name will be floating above it. As soon as the test is complete you will be free to do as you please whether it is going outside or the library or your respective common rooms."

McGonagall stepped back and they filled into the room. James passed Lily and gave her a flirtatious wink.

"Go to hell potter" She hissed, as to not letting McGonagall or Flitwick hear her.

"Go to Hogsmeade with me first."

"No, for the hundredth millionth time, NO!"

Their fellow class mates made several "sHHHH"-ing sounds. With one final glare, Lily departed to the other side of the room to where her desk was. She could see Gemma sitting near the front, Michelle a few rows in front of the seat Lily found her name, and Adrian sitting behind Black.

She sat down, and listened with one ear to the instructions given by Professor Flitwick, the dwarf charms teacher.

"As Professor McGonagall has already explained, this is a timed test, Your quills and parchment is enchanted to prevent cheating, so do not even attempt to. At the end of the test session, I will gather your testing parchment and you will be excused. You may begin."

He flicked his wand and a paper appeared on everyone's desk, baring the test questions. Lily looked down and began

DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS-

ORDINARY WIZARDING LEVEL

Question 1) Give the correct spell used in defending against Boggarts...

Question 5) What is the name of the killing curse that is illegal to perform, thus naming it an Unforgivable Curse….

Question 10) Give five signs that identify a werewolf….

Question 15) Give the correct incantation for a Body Bind counter curse…..

The test continued, 20, 30, 40, 60, questions with several short essay prompts under that. Even Lily, who had studied fervently found herself pausing on some questions, stumped. Finally she was half way complete with her final essay question.

"Five more minutes!" Professor Flitwick squeaked from his pedestal. Lily looked up briefly before looking down again. She looped the conclusion of her answer and then immediately started double checking the rest of the questions. She made a few minor corrections before leaning back. She felt so tired, every muscle in her body ached. Arameo had gotten nastier and nastier over the last few weeks. Her attacks were violent conniptions that lasted up to thirty minutes now. There had to be a way out of this….. Her eyelids dropped, she wasn't sleeping much… her breathing regulated…

"Quills down, please!" She jumped slightly and looked up at him, trying wake herself up quickly "That means you to Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment. _Accio!"_

Al once, more than a hundred rolls of paper flew to him with enough force to knock him over. Several students laughed, Lily smiled slightly, watching Gemma help Flitwick up.

Thank you… Thank you..." Professor Flitwick huffed. "Very well everybody, you're free to go!" Lily stood up gingerly and waited for Michelle and Gemma before walking over to Adrian who was still looking after Black. Lily raised her eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh shut it Lily" she said with a mocking frown. Lily grinned hugely at her as several other girls joined them, the group grew bigger as they walked through the Entrance Hall and down towards the lake. The other girls chattered on pointlessly, Gemma looked over at Lily question burning in her eyes.

Lily looked back at her, trying to convince her that she was fine at the moment. Gemma looked away although she didn't look thoroughly convinced.

They walked over to the edge of the Lake. Gemma sat down next to Lily and the two girls stripped they're socks and stockings off, cooling their feet in the cool water.

"I'm so glad that's over!" Said Michelle lying on the grass with her arms and legs spread out. Even though the hardest definitely wasn't over for Lily she still felt relieved that at least the majority of exams were over. She closed her eyes and paddled her feet slightly, soaking in the warm sun, the cool sensation of liquid in between her toes, the grainy feel off grass under her fingertips….

"Right Lily?"

"Wha? Huh?"

"I said," Adrian restated "that we still have Transfiguration left and that will be brutal."

Lily groaned and several girls giggled in response "Yes, yes it will be brutal."

"Not that you need worry about it, you're going to pass without a blink"

"Unless I fall asleep first-"

A fit of screams and laughter brought Lily out of her dazed again. Looking up, she saw Severus crawling on the ground, soap suds spraying from his mouth, his wand on the grass, a ways away, Potter and Black were laughing, wands drawn.

"Leave him ALONE" She yelled, jumping up and marching over to him. Potters hand flew up to his hair, Lily ran through different ways to kill him in her head

"Alright there Evans?"

"Leave him alone. What's he done to you?"

"Well, it's more that he exists if you know what I mean…." He trailed off and several onlookers laughed. Lily missed the humor

"You think your funny" she all but spat on the ground "But your just an arrogant, bullying toe rag, Potter. Leave him _alone_."

"I will if you go out with me, Evans. Go on…. Go out with me, and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid" Lily retorted and watched Potters face fall slightly.

"Bad luck, prongs" Black said, laughing slightly "OY!" Severus had reached his wand and pointed it straight at Potter, a flash of light later, and there was a gash on Potters face and blood on his robes. It took Prongs about a second to retaliate; Snape was instantly hoisted into the air by one leg.

If the sight had been anyone else, Lily would have tried less hard not to laugh, a small smile, which she quickly fixed, pasted her face. "Let him down!"

"Certainly." Severus face planted with the ground. "_Petrificus Totalus" _black cried, and Severus was rigid as a board. Those little…

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily yelled, she whipped her own wand out and felt slightly satisfied when Potter and Black looked slightly scared.

"Ahh, Evans, don't make me hex you."

"Take the curse off him, then!"

Potter deliberated for a moment, before obligating. Lily rushed over to him, eager to help her friend.

"There you go," Potter said behind her "you're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus-"

"I don't need filthy little Mudbloods like her!"

All thoughts left. Stop. Cease. Gone. Dead. Mudblood. A thin line that kept Lily to sanity snapped and she blinked back tears.

How could he say that? They were friends since they were 8. Had that meant nothing. At all? She saw the similarities, thousands, between Snape and Potter just then, ling, conniving, manipulative, stubborn raccoons who cared about themselves. She was just in the way.

"Fine, I won't bother you in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you _Snivellus_."

She hated calling him that. She could see the pain in his eyes at her words. But his words had caused much more pain, though Lily was much better at hiding it now.

"Apologize to Evans!" Potter roared

Lily flipped. "I don't want _you_ to make him apologize. You're just as bad as he is."

"What?" he cried "I'd never call you a- you-know-what!"

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can- I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK."

She turned away and ran as fast as she could possibly move away from there.

"Evans! Hey, EVANS!" She didn't look back, Potters voice only fueled her to go faster. She raced past the path to Hagrids hut, up the stone way and when she passed the rock with the spider and a crack her chest burned painfully and tears sprang to her eyes. She booked it up to the Gryffindor Common room and up to the 5th year girl's dormitories'.

Only then, far away from Potter and Black and Snape and everyone else. Only then, with her makeup melting away reveling Arameo, only then did she stop running and collapse into Gemmas waiting arms.

**Ok how was that? Anyone notice something familiar in there? Sorry it took so long, I need the 5****th**** book for this one and I left in my locker so I had to wait. :P **

**I really hate to do the whole five reviews or I won't post but could I pleasepleasePLEASE have at least five if not ten reviews on this chapter? I would really appreciate it**

**Thanks**

**~LIZIES~**


	24. Chapter 24

That makes me sad, I only got THREE reviews last chapter, I was really sad for a couple of seconds. Sigh. Technically I shouldn't post this unless I get two more reviews, but I'm not quite that mean….. STILL! Three? Anyway, because of my THREE reviews, this chapter is dedicated to **DanielleHalford, Amarande Nyx Numen **and **accioizzy. **YOU GUYS ROCK!

**Chapter 24**

A torrent of tears raced down her face. Gemma was perched on Lily's bed, rocking the other girl in her arms. Violent shivers convulsed across the red-heads body.

"I-I ca-a-n't believe he'd—Sev. Say that!"

"I know I know….."

"Why-? I was j-just trying to help."

"I understand. He wasn't worth it."

"Gemma…. I, I think I was in love with him."

This piece of information was new to Gemma. She froze before forcing herself to continue rocking. Lily. In Love. With Snape.

How could she have not seen that?

Of course Lily defended him then, Gemma didn't like him, but she knew several people who despised him…..

Lily chocked on her tears, struggling for breathe. Hyperventilating, she moved her arms to her ribs.

The door knob rattled. Adrian and Michelle. Damn. Lily's makeup had completely washed off, exposing Arameo in every sense. To be honest, it creped Gemma out slightly, a thin line like a show lace traced Lily's entire face and neck, she knew id Lily's shirt was lowered, she'd see the web there as well. The most unnerving thing about it though, was how a shot of fire would run the path of the tattoo every now and then. With Lily so upset, it seemed to happen more.

Gemma took out her wand and quickly covered up Lily's face as fast as possible, just in time for the door opening. Michelle's head came first, followed by her body and Adrian.

Lily was asleep next to Gemma. Tear still streaming constantly down her face, wincing, and wet.

"Is she ok?" Adrian whispered to not wake Lily, although Lily winced again with the sound of words.

"Ok as she can be at the moment." Gemma said, a sigh creeping into her tone

Michelle looked like she was about to cry, just looking at the empty mask on Lily's face.

"Tell us if you or Lils need ANYTHING. Ok?"

Gemma nodded, looking down at her friends face. She didn't look up, after a moment; she heard the door signaling Michelle and Adrian's departure. Gemma sighed and stood up, careful to watch Lily's reaction to her moving. She whimpered, looked slightly pained and clenched her fist, but didn't awake.

Gemma's jaw clenched. Those sick bastards. How could they break Lily like this? She thought of last year, where they had all laughed together, and James and Snape were only a second thought, even that. They had fun; they're biggest problems being the Transfiguration essay due on Thursday, whether not Sirius Black or Ty had noticed they're new haircut. They had thought they had so many problems, they had no idea. Life had been a nothing but a parade in comparison to now.

Gemma walked in to the bathroom and got a rag; she wet it with cold water and walked back to Lily's bed. Her face was covered in sweat, tears and blood from where Arameo's web had pierced her skin. Gemma took the rag and slowly mopped up Lily's face….

Lily's breathe quickened; her eyes swirled behind her closed eyelids. Her face contorted and grimaced constantly. She started screaming and Arameo glowed with enough heat to burn a hole straight through her shirt. Gemma's mouth dropped into an O of horror. What the hell was happening?

"Lily? _Lily._ What's wrong? Lily?_"_ She knelt beside the rocking redhead and put her hand on her arm….

….When it happened.

Arameo sent his web slicing across Gemmas fingers, zaging up her arm.

It was like a thousand knives invading her veins. Millions of glass shards keeping her heart from pumping. Black dots crowded her vision until there was nothing but darkness. Her breath was sucked from her lungs. Sounds conquered her ears. Textures conquered her skin. Images conquered her brain. Sirens. Crawling. Blood. Avada Kedavra. Piercings. Cemeteries. Screams. Slaps. Scared.

Terrified,

Pain.

She wasn't getting numb fast enough.

She

Wasn't

Getting

Numb

She felt everything, every ounce of everything she'd ever want to forget. Somewhere, in the square centimeter of her mind that was still sane was screaming for her to let go. That square centimeter took over, Gemma wasn't aware how, but she ended up in a ball away from Lily's bed. She was clutching desperately to her hand. On inspection, she discovered that it had in fact been burnt… or something like that. There were several little dots that produced an uncomfortable prickling sensation. Gemma closed her eyes and leaned her head against the bed behind her. It was Michelle's. Or maybe Adrian's. Her head wasn't recovered from the screaming images it had just experienced. Speaking of what had just happened.

What the _hell_ had just happened?

Lily had been withering, beginning to shake as Gemma had seen her do dozens of times before, right before she had started her attack. She looked at the clock, right on time.

But there was no way Lily went through that twice every single day. The fresh memory of the pain, the sounds, the images, were still ingrained and shooting at her scraps of sanity. She closed her eyes to slow her breathing, and then discovered that closed eyelids brought the images stronger. By the time Gemma wasn't hyperventilating the image of Lily's warm brown bed post was permanently sketched into her head. The gold carpet meeting the post, surrounded with Lily's black snow cap and her favorite book _Where Your Fears Live._ Gemma doubted she would ever forget the smallest thing like the curve of the "l" on the book cover.

"Gem?" Lily's voice startled and relieved her. Mainly startled. Her body was phlegmatic as she stood up to look at Lily. She took several pained, sluggish steps to the bed, where the redhead sat up gingerly to meet her. Lily regarded her with big green eyes.

"Are you ok?"

Gemma didn't answer; she was staring at Lily's chest.

"Gem?"

"Gem, what is it?"

She didn't respond, although now her eyes traveled along the path Arameo's web had marked.

"You're tattoo…. Arameo…" Fatigue made talking much harder; the words were slow and forced, clumsy, falling over one another.

"He-it, shank"

Lily looked at Gemma, trying to ditch the sardonic expression that was stealing her face.

"You don't believe me? Fine, look."

Lily did, and as she did, she gasped. It had shrunk, if that was the word for it, more like minimized. The web had completely retreated of her face and neck, now it didn't even reach her collar bone or the bottom of her rib cage.

She shot her shocked eyes back into Gemmas disbelieving brown ones. She swallowed.

"What the crap?" Gemma breathed.

"Want to know what else is weird?" Lily asked with a look of a deer caught in headlights.

"What?" she said even softer, not taking her eyes of Arameo.

"I feel way better than I have in months. Gemma, I can _breathe_."

The amazed clarity in Lily's voice was enough to set Gemma over the edge. Silent tears slipped passed her face.

Gemma slowly brought her face to her hand again, where the pinpricks were barely fading. Lily followed her gaze, and looked horrified.

"I did that." It wasn't a question. It was a confession

**That seems to be a good place to stop. Cliff hanger too. Hehe. Once again I want to thank D****anielleHalford, Amarande Nyx Numen and accioizzy. I really appreciate it. I'll get the next chapter posted as soon as I get a reasonable amount of reviews. Thanks!**

**~LIZIES~**


	25. Chapter 25

**YAY! I got 5 reviews last chapter! That is awesome, you guys are amazing. Here's Chapter 25 and just as a warning, this story is going to get creepy (even creepier then it has been at least) and slightly terrifying really fast, at least if I write it right it will so…. Fair warning.**

Chapter 25

"Lily, it really wasn't your fault."

It was the thousandth time the words had flew from Gemma's lips, and this time, like every other, made no difference to her.

"Right, it was no one's fault."

"Lily, really, you did nothing to cause it."

The two girls were sitting at the Gryffindor table during lunch the day after the incident by the black lake, the situation in the dorm, or as they were referring to the two events as.

Lily dropped her disbelieving eyes to the plate sitting in front of her, although Gemma had piled it with food, they both knew she couldn't eat it. Gemma, across from her, was poking at hers, occasionally eating some, but mainly staring at her friend with obvious irritation.

"Lily. Listen to me. It. Was. Not. Your. Fault."

Lily grunted to her plate and Gemma glared at the redheads scalp. Lily sighed and pushed her food away, resting her head on the table.

The Marauders passed by, James slowing to grace a concerned glance, which lingered until Gemma glared at him. He gave her an exasperated look, though Gemma's glare didn't waver, James sighed audibly before walking away.

Lily's entire body froze. "Was that?"

Gemma nodded, still glaring at her retreating cousin. She didn't look down until he was seated a distance away, the other Marauders started sitting around him. James gave Gemma a "what do you want with me look" Gemma made several motions with her hands that ordered him to scoot down. He looked at her for a few seconds before standing up and moving as far away from them as possible. James shoot her some attitude, Gemma gave a crisp nod and looked down. James looked over at Lily's small frame and sighed, a strange feeling settling in his stomach like it did whenever he saw her like this.

This;

Red hair, once so shinning and vibrant, now hanging around her shoulders like a burden. Green eyes, emeralds seeing truth that were blinded by lies and pain. What pain? What was the haunting demon that had deflated her so badly? James wanted nothing more than to help her. She wanted nothing more than for him to leave her alone. But that couldn't be true; whatever was going on with her was more than his telling of Constance. Remus was a werewolf. Mary had cried herself to sleep for weeks after she had moved in with them. Sirius was allergic to peanut butter. All these things he knew. All these things he kept quite. Out of pure curtsey. It was their life to tell about. James completely respected that, why was it, the one time he was stupid enough to forget that, it had pertained to Lily?

Cause he was a bloody git, that's why.

"Earth to prongs, if Collins sees you staring at Evans again, you're a dead man. "

"She has no loyalty. Why isn't Gemma helping me win her back?"

"Friends before family mate, all of us do it."

"Harsh"

"Isn't it?" Padfoot shoved a piece of toast in his mouth whole. Shoving food towards him. Prongs brought his hazel eyes up to Lily again; she and Gemma seemed to be arguing. His cousin looked to tears, his crush was already crying. Lily said something that could have been "I'm sorry" Gemma shook it off saying something that James couldn't even lip read.

When he brought his gaze back, Sirius was look at him judgmentally, which James quickly shoot off. Remus was a bit more understanding, offering him a light smile. Remus looked up suddenly, and James did even move as owls arrived and dropped packages of all shapes and sizes to everyone there.

The Potter house bird flew up to him, two envelopes clutched tightly. One addresses to James and one addressed to Mary, James retrieved his and the owl hopped off towards Mary. Nibbling on a piece of toast, James read his letter, the majority of the parchment was manitory, Tommy had the flu, Andrew had grown his first tooth, his mum asked about his grades, his friends, quidditch, if he'd help Mary with something , if he'd give the adjoining note to Lily

What?

Give what note to Lily? Why was his mom talking to Lily, what about? James peeked into the envelope and found a small slip of paper.

Curiosity killed the cat, but Gemma was already going to kill him. HE unfolded to paper in his lap, throwing nervous glances over where Gemma and Lily were still arguing.

_Dear Lily,_

_I know you were fighting with James, and I assume you still are, due to the lack of Lily' stories in his letters. I would have sent this separate, though I did not want it to be lost somewhere along the line. The reason I'm even writing is to apologize for the lateness of that remedied I promised you. Twice, I had almost finished brewing when Tommie and Morllie had run past, knocking it off the table, after I found the necessary supplies I finally caught on and brewed it far out of their reach. I have a few more ingredients to add, and then I will be sending it along._

_I hope all is well for you, and please reply, detailing if your situation has worsened, I will help any way I can._

_Love, _

_Julie Potter._

James folded the note back up. Remedied? What remedied? What was the "situation"? How has it worsened? Was it really that obvious to her that Lily hadn't spoken to him in months?

Ugh.

There was something wrong, something desperately wrong. Something that had taken one of the most energetic people James knew and turned her completely limp and numb. And the worst part?

He couldn't help? Although that did mean he couldn't hurt either? But he already had, hurt her in a way that she will remember forever. Hurt her in a time she desperately needed help. He had made possibly the biggest mistake of his life.

But if anything was sure, he would do anything, _anything_ to fix it.

He'd hold himself to that. NO matter what it took, he would win her trust back.

**Hey! Sorry that took so long to post. I got 5 reviews last time, which was awesome. THANK YOU In this chapter I tried to show how James was viewing the situation, and bring back the potion Julies making. Tell me how I did in a nice review?**

**~LIZIES~**


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Lily was walking up the stairs. In fact, Lily was running up the stairs, she was running up the stairs because it was 8:00. She had 4 minutes. Streaking through yet another corridor, the paintings watched her with ever curious eyes, not saying anything as she zipped past. Up another staircase, through a passageway, she was so close to her dormitory and the safety of private Attacks it held. She swerved around a corner—

"oof" She said as the force of running into someone knocked her flat on her back, her speed had knocked whoever she had ran into over as well.

"Ugh, I am so sorr-"

She propped herself up on her elbows and as Arameo tingled slightly; she looked into the face of James Potter.

"Watch where you're walking, you don't own the place." She said, instantly irritated on top of her already present stress. He didn't listen to her, as he was already on his feet and offering her his hand. She slapped it, and stood up. At least he was alone, though as she became level with him, his hand automatically flew up to his stupid hair.

"Where you off to so fast?"

"Where ever I want, go away."

"If you go out with me, consider it Evans, one date."

"No, ditch it."  
She pushed his hand that was finally coming down from ruffling his dark hair out of the way and began to walk off. He grabbed her wrist with enough force to spin her back around to face him before dropping her hand.

"What is up with you? Why are you shunning me? It's rather rude, you know."

"Oh I have complete right to shun you; you're nothing more than an annoying, arrogant oaf, who automatically assumes that everyone must LOVE him simply because he exists. Yourself centered, sly and have a complete lack of loyalty."

"I am nothing like any of those things!"

"Rest assured, you most definitely are."

"Where's your proof?"

"Every where! Blimey, you being confused at why I'd say that, at why I won't go out with you are perfect examples!"

James opened his mouth and began to retort when she continued.

"I'd wager that you couldn't find an entire minute of your life that you hadn't been deeply annoying at least one person."

He took a step closer to her, Lily held her ground.

"Strange," He said, pushing a lock of auburn hair out of her face. He was so close he could hear her breathing, "I can think of a few times with you where I wasn't annoying, on your nerves maybe, but not annoying."

James watched her emerald eyes flash, and he knew she too was thinking of that day in the study room when she had left her bag. The small proximity, the shortness of air that disappeared in each other's mouths. Thinking of that night in the garden, the warmth emanating from their bodies against the chill from the wind. The night in the garden…

James' hand didn't leave her face from where he had pressed her hair back, slowly, cautiously, he pulled her face up, she put a feeble hand on his arm. Her breathe washed over his face, coursing his eyes close and his mouth open. His free hand found its way to her waist, where it laid lightly. They were so close, James could feel Lily's lips move against his as she spoke

"The only difference, between you and Snape, is that he has the decency to call me a Mudblood, instead of constantly implying it."

She glided off, he couldn't bring himself to put his hands down, he couldn't bring himself to breathe. The drafty air of the castle seemed almost frigid after the heat from Lily's body. There was a deep pit in his stomach that seemed to swell and consume his insides. His heartbeat was pounding in his ears, when he finally brought his eyes to be opened, he discovered his sight blurry and the corridor in front of him complete abandoned from Lily.

"What's the bother, shela?"

Declan. Walking up to a statue Lily, arms folded across the railing, eyes sweeping the landscape. At the sound of his voice she looked down, up then over at him as he walked up and leaned against the railing with her.

"The usual."

Pause, in which, a yellow bellied bird chirped, a light breeze toyed with Lily's hair, and the sun monetarily peeked out from behind the clouds.

"And that being?"

Lily opened and closed her mouth several times, testing out different versions of the truth that wouldn't get her detained and experimented on.

"Boy trouble?" He guessed, his tone appeared to be joking, but she could detect and underling of honest sincerity.

"Yeah, that's part of it…"

"James Potter?"

Lily looked up at him, he had a knowing smile. "I live in his dorm remember Lily? He's quite taken with you."

She didn't respond for a much longer pause. The wind picked back up again, Lily drew her cloak tighter around herself.

"Dec-i-bear," she paused, her mouth feeling dry "I told Potter about Constance."

Declan looked over at her surprised, but, sensing she wasn't finished, didn't say anything.

"I told Potter, and Potter told everyone else."

Pause. In this single moment, Declan noticed, how tired, frail and flat out exhausted she look.

"Well that was stupid"

Lily closed her mouth and nodded vigorously at him, a completely serious look on her face. Declan mirrored her expression, with his lips over-pursed just enough to make her laugh slightly.

"Yeah, that's sort of the understatement of the year."

"That sucks."

"One second though, _that_ is the understatement of the year." Declan was chuckling slightly before she was even finished.

"I knew you'd say that" he retorted under his breath, with another slight chuckle.

**Hey guys! Sorry that took forever! I was going to make this chapter WAY longer, but I figured enough important things have happened. Sorry this story had been so boring, by the next chapter (maybe two) it'll get way better! Also, it'll get M rated, and it'll get M rated fast. Just a warning. **

**~LIZIES~**


	27. Chapter 27

**Hey guys! I'm SO SORRY it took so long to update, it's been about three months. :S I just got really busy with school and life and what not. I would say I'm back (!) but I'll still be really busy… **

Chapter 27

"Knock knock" Declan said as he slowly pushed the door to the girl's dormitory open.

"Come in?" Michelle said from her bed where she was painting her nails. He stepped in the room and all four girls looked at him.

"Hey I need you gals to step in the boy's room for a moment, I have an announcement I'd rather only make once."

Lily sent a confused look to Gemma, and then to Declan, he motioned for them to follow.

Once inside the dorm, Lily automatically leaned against the nearest wall, farthest away from the Marauders. The atmosphere was tense. No doubt James had told the others what had happened.

"Alright," Declan started "as I'm sure you have all realized, sense that initial attack several months ago, nothing has happened. Thus giving us Aurors little to do. As I'm sure you also know, there's been dark magic arising, and the Ministry needs a fighting force. That fighting force would be us."

"What are you saying?" Back piped up from where he sat with James.

"I'm saying that we're leaving. We are needed elsewhere, considering the year to be almost over with bonds fully in shape, it's considered safe for us to depart."

"That's ridiculous!" Gemma exclaimed, glancing at Lily before she spoke. "What if another attack happened and no one is here to help? With only a few months left surely you can stay until year end."

"Gemma, the probability of another attack is low. Even if it does happen, which it won't, it would be mild enough that the Hogwarts staff could take care of it."

"You don't really believe this do you?" Remus asked skeptically

"No. I don't."

"Then why are you leaving?" Said Michelle

"I must follow orders. " Declan was determined to stay cool.

"Your orders are messed up" That was Adrian

"Agreed, though there's nothing I can do about it. I apologize but that's how it is."

"Declan." He froze at the sound of Lily's voice

"Yes?"

There was an impregnigated pause where Declan refused to look at her.

"Five weeks, you can stay that long."

"I can't" His voice sound strangled

"Yes you can," She pushed herself away from the wall and walked towards him. "Tell the higher officers that you feel that at least one person should stay with Hogwarts simply in case. Tell them that you can easily be reached so you can help with other cases if you're desperately needed. When school gets out you can full on join again."

By now she was standing right next to him, but he refused to look at her. Raising a cautious hand which he placed on his shoulder, she called his name. Declan still looked away. Lily sighed, closing her eyes. She thought back to all the experiences she had had with him, then to all the current events, with Arameo, the Attacks, Potter and everything. Her eyebrows brunched together, she felt weird. She couldn't describe the feeling, it was like a balloon being popped, something being tugged out of her, the spike of telling a well-kept secret and the boom of something new.

She felt a cold streak run across the web and immediately pulled her hand back to pull up her collar. Lily jammed her eyes shut, praying nobody saw anything. When she finally brought her eyes up, everyone was looking back and forth between them confused. She looked at Declan; his eyes were on the ground. Suddenly he snapped up to look at her, eyes beseeching. He took a step towards her, she took a step back.

"What have you been hiding from me?" There were so many conflicting tones in his voice she didn't know how to respond. While looking away, her sight was caught on his neck. Right where there skin had made contact, there was a small sliver of a tattoo that looked just like Arameos' web. Her mouth dropping even further open, she forced herself to look back at Declan's face, which was still expecting an answer.

What the crap just happened!

She took several more steps backwards, before running out of the room.

**Ok...i think that's it…I'll write a really small chapter and post it today or tomarrow, I'm so sorry guys, I'll try to do better in updating. But what would help…Reviews! PLEASE PELASE REVIEW!**

**~LIZIES~**


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

James lay on his bed several hours later, recalling the events of the past few hours as he leafed through the Marauders Map. After what ever had happened between Lily and Declan, she ran out. Gemma had immediately run after her. Declan, after standing there for a moment, fist clenched, jaw tight, had left the room too, though, as the map showed, he hadn't followed after her. The dot labeled Declan O'Malley was currently standing in the office of a fellow Auror. The Lily Evans and Gemma Collins labeled dots were in there dorm room, no doubt sleeping due to the hour. James leaned forward; it was 11:59, sixty seconds away from midnight. He yawned slightly, and continued to look through the map.

Suddenly, the Lily dot started shaking back and forth. Sitting up, James watched the dot carefully, the shaking stopped. All was still. The shaking started again, but the dot moved towards the bathroom in the still moments. The dot seemed to be twisting in its own ink, like Lily was twisting in her own skin.

What was going on?

Lily woke up with tears already streaming down her face. Her entire body was twitching violently. It was like an Attack, but different. Instead of flashing images, it was the same picture, just played over and over like a broken slideshow set on replay.

The rock Lily had past with Sev, it seemed like an entire life ago. The black stone that had a running crevasse through the side with a spider, identical to Arameo watching guard. But that wasn't all. Instead of a singular spider, there were hundreds.

The tremors stopped and started and stopped and started, Lily got the point; she needed to get to that rock. She had no idea why, other than she did. A pressing urge to vomit brought her to the bathroom, crawling in the short silences were her mind stopped screaming. Eventually she stumbled out of the bathroom, out of the room, out of the common room. Even though she had no idea why she was going, Lily reminded herself that she had little to lose anyway. Whenever a tremor shake her, she would crawl into a ball on whatever step or landing she was on and wait for it to pass so she could continue onward. Once, a tremor caught her half way down the grand staircase, causing her to be pitched forward and to land on the floor off the entrance hall hard enough to knock her out.

The next tremor woke her up, and after a while, she started crawling outside. Shaking, she crawled to her feet. Still stumbling she made it near the creavase. As she drew near, the spiders hastily crawled away, making a space for her hand to fit in, she reached forward Arameo's webs stretching from her fingers to the rock. Arameo crawled off her arm and onto the rock, instantly Lily felt relief, she tried to take her hand off but it appeared to be stuck. Her hand was sinking in the rock she tugged and it only got deeper. Lily pulled with all her might as her entire elbow was sucked in.

"Lily!"

She whipped her head around to see James Potter appear out of thin air, a strange cloak sliding to the ground. He reached forward and grabbed her free hand in instinct. The rock continued to capture her body fast now, and soon they both were gone.

Everything was black.

**Yeah…its weird. REALLY weird! Please review though! If you stop reading this, I completely understand the next few chapters will be morbid, not that the entire story is though….**

**~LIZIES~**


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

The blackness wasn't simply in sight. It was also in feel, smell, and sound.

Lily couldn't believe that anything could be this barren, reaching her hand forward, she touched nothing but empty space. She took a deep breath, expecting to taste something, anything in the air. It was hollow. Her ears strained but found no noise. It was as if nothing else excised. Reaching her hand down again, she grouped for the floor. As she finally found it, Lily noticed the texture first off. Like Stone. Or brick. With strange chips and lines that had long lost the grouting. And it was cold; so cold.

Suddenly there was the sound of shuffling next to her. In the silence it was like a gunshot. Heart pumping, breath quickening, she listened for the sound again. Maybe she was just imagining it. But no, there it was again. Followed by a sound, a word, a name. Her name.

"Lily? Evans? LILY?" His voice was rising as he to grope at the darkness. Lily could hear the sound of his senses assessing the darkness like she had. His breathing was heavy; she could practically see his panic setting in.

"Potter?" Her voice was soft and low. Her throat scratchy and lined as if she hadn't spoken in days. She licked her lips before speaking again. "Potter? As in James?" Is that really you?"

James started crawling in the directions of her voice. "Yes it is. It's me. Are you ok? What happened? Where are we?"

"I-I don't know. But why are you here with me?"

James stopped in his tracks. He was close enough to hear her breathing, to smell her scents. This was it he knew, the brilliant opportunity to win her trust back. Taking a deep breath, he contemplated phrases.

"I followed you. Wondering where you were going. What was wrong, why you were twitching? Then you went to that spider rock thing. I could see it pulling you in and I panicked. So I tried to pull you back, but before I knew it we were falling and then it was black. And now….well, what now?

"I have no idea. About any of that. Something's wrong though… well obviously." She told him everything. Arameo. The attacks. From the note she found in their basement to what had happened with Declan. He didn't say anything until the end, after a pregnated silence filled with nothing.

"You could've told me you know, you could've trusted me."

Long pause, where Lily contemplated answers.

"I thought I could've too. But as I went to tell you then I heard that you told about Constance. There was no trust after that."

James hung his head low, regretting the past.

After the silence had worn out James spoke again.

"Well, what now?"

"I have no idea."

**I'm so sorry this is so late! I'll try uber hard to do better, but with school starting soon then I won't have much time This story is almost over though, about ten more chapters. I can't believe the next chapter is chapter 30! That's a lot of chapters you know. **

**~LIZIES~**


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